My Kids' Dad Might Be a Geek

U.S. prime time television starts at 2 a.m. in the Middle East. Sometimes that is perfect. It meant no one  objected when I totally zoned out and watched the entire NFL Draft without paying attention to anyone else. Loved it. That was my best NFL Draft watching geek out in at least 10 years (Ziggy!).

Though now that they've made it a two day affair, it's gotten tricky. I started having Tim Burton hallucinations narrated by Mel Kiper, Jr. starting around 3 a.m. day two.

Then, having lunch with some friends today, I discovered that NFL Draftiness is not the upper limit of my geekdom. James Bond films were the topic. Skyfall's box office revenue the debate. My addition, "It's really not that impressive when you consider that Thunderball is the highest grossing Bond film of all time if you adjust for inflation."

This was received with incredulity and then confirmed by smart phone. Then, "How did you know that?" and "Why did you know that?"

I have my things.

Most Honorable Mother-In-Law Visit (as told by Son-In-Law)

The travel agency offered a discounted pyramid tour to welcome my "most honorable mother-in-law" to Egypt.

First item of business, will we be able to watch March Madness? Yes. Okay, this might be a good trip. Though, somehow I was watching alone at 2 a.m. when young Mr. Ware discovered what bone marrow looks like.

Half-drunk Diet Coke in kitchen. Half-drunk Diet Coke on the dining table. Half-drunk Diet Coke on the coffee table. Half-drunk Diet Coke in the car...make that two in the car. There's another on the coffee table. And one in the bathroom. Wait, is that a half-drunk Diet Coke by the kitty litter? I draw the line!

On day two, Martha was able to enjoy watching The Hobbit after the manner of Caleb.

"Nana, they don't really show it, but it's a dragon. Really it's a fire drake, but normal people just call it a dragon. It's from the north. Dragons love gold."

"Nana, did you know that when Gollum makes that noise it sounds like he's saying 'gollum'? That's how he got his name."

"What does incinerate mean?"

On day three I went to Cairo American College (where the kids attend) and found that Martha already had three times as many friends as I do. And I have friends, despite what you might think.

On day four the art work moved and the bookshelves were rearranged.

We went to the pyramids, as depicted in prior post, and then went to the papyrus racket, er, store and then to the, um, essence place, or something, where they put drops of mint "essence" in hot water and had me sniff it and then Moses led the Israelites through my sinus cavity. So that was different. Caleb was sick, so I sat in the car eating Nilla Wafers with him for the remainder of the essence sniffing. Sometimes sick kids are just what you need.

Everyone ended up, somehow, sleeping in wrong rooms on Easter night. So, of course, when Maddie woke first, and saw Easter eggs in Caleb's room where she was sleeping, she hunted them all down and picked them all up. When I came to and saw her arms full of Easter eggs and her bedroom door still closed: Danger!

I invited her to read the Easter Bunny's note: that he had left each kids' eggs in their own bedrooms. At that very moment, Caleb exited Maddie's room (why was he sleeping in there, I wondered in excruciating bewilderment) and asked what the note said. Maddie, with typical tact, explained: The Easter Bunny hid each of our eggs in our own rooms but don't worry I already found all of yours.

So Katie stepped in and negotiated a cease fire involving exchange of real estate and surrender of certain sovereign rights. At length chocolate was eaten, teeth rotted, and the people rejoiced.

Went to the Red Sea (Gulf of Suez technically, but it's all connected right). Friends from church had a baptism in the Red Sea while we were there. Oh the serene spiritual power of giant poisonous jellyfish. So Caleb decided he will just execute his baptism (coming next year) in the small pool behind the church villa.

And then the Most Honorable Mother In Law departed, and we were sad.