Charmed Life (and a Resolution)

We've had an odd string of bad luck. Maddie dropped my iPad and the screen shattered. A one-in-a-million bit of randomness did about $3,500 damage to our car and after considering it an obvious case in our favor, I was surprised when it was determined the other party was not liable. Caleb's iPhone mysteriously vanished from the school bus. Maddie's iPhone, fine one moment, then placed in her purse during a train ride, was removed from her purse with a shattered screen.

I was pondering this odd bit of luck the other day when Caleb said to me, out of the blue, "Dad, we sure are lucky we were born in America."

So that put me in my place.

Thus, a resolution: more gratitude in 2016.

Happy New Year!

Darth Vader: Disgruntled Mid-Level Bureaucrat

Caution, mild Force Awakens spoiler ahead.

A colleague lamented that it didn't make sense that Kylo Ren would be so easily defeated if he is supposedly the heir to Darth Vader. I'm sorry, are we thinking of the same Darth Vader?

Darth Vader didn't even have a real position in the empire. He hung out at real meetings in which all the real participants wore uniforms, had titles like General, and sat at the table. Meanwhile,  "Lord" Vader stood in the back and whined about not getting his way and made excuses for his failures, which were many.

The Death Star water cooler gossip no doubt frequently mocked how Darth was only there because of some family connection. Lord of what? they teased. Inherited some Lord-ship from a distant relative or something. He's so useless. Seriously, if one of us let the Death Star plans get away like that, do you think the Emperor would be as forgiving? No way. Our employee evaluation system sucks. If he gets promoted to Career Minister before I do, I swear I'm joining the rebellion.

Think about it, if Ren is the new Vader, then he has to fail at everything, just like Vader. I'm sure that when Vader told Grand Moff Tarkin that he couldn't get any information out of Leia, Tarkin was like, Of course not, you idiot. That's why I already have this other plan, because you always fail.

Having grown up as the brilliant Anakin, it must have been very frustrating for Vader to rise no higher than mid-level Empire bureaucrat with no real authority. When the others rightly pointed out that he failed and didn't know what he was talking about, his response was, Yeah, well, I can choke you from across the room, so who failed now? And Tarkin had to tolerate it long enough for Vader to think he had won the argument so he wouldn't go tattling to the Emperor. Then Tarkin told him to knock it off. Tarkin was no doubt tired of having his able technocrats choked to death by the disgruntled peacock.

No, Vader was no master of evil. He was a mid-life crisis suffering washed out former Jedi attempting to re-live his glory days as enabled by his doting patron, the Emperor.

The Force Awakens Theories (with spoilers)

I am about to spoil the heck out of it. So stop reading now if you haven't seen it yet. Which would prompt the question, what else could you have been doing?

I loved it. Cheered out loud several times. The few negative reviews I've seen complained that it was too similar in its plot points to Episode IV. To me, this was the beauty and joy of it. And it also leaves loads of clues. I hatched some theories today, which I will present here. Yeah, yeah, my kids are fine. But I have Star Wars theories!

Disclaimer: I haven't read any books or comics. All I know is the movies. Nor have I read any of the various theory blogs out there. So forgive me if I'm redundant. Here we go.

So, there are all these parallels with Episode IV. The Death Star, only bigger, and so forth. This includes characters with similar arcs and playing similar roles. Most obviously, right off the bat, was BB8 as R2D2, carrying the secret message.

Then, Rey was positioned as the new Luke. She has nascent force ability. She dresses like him. She lives on a desert planet without a family. She ends up with BB8 (R2D2). She's the new Luke.

But then it gets a little less clear, it least to me. I had to think about it a little bit. Because, if Rey is Luke, who is the new Obi-Wan? Han Solo, that's who. Obi-Wan was Luke's guide and mentor on the adventure and was killed, giving himself up to Darth Vader. Totally Han Solo. He is Rey's guide and mentor and gives himself up to Kylo Ren, the new Vader. Han is Obi-Wan and Ren is Vader.

So, who's the new Princess Leia? That would be Poe Dameron. He's the one who gave BB8 (R2D2) the message. This leads me to suspect a twist in which Poe and Rey, rather than Ren and Rey, turn out to be brother and sister. Or maybe they are twin younger siblings of Ren.

Finn is the new Han Solo. He's Rey's (Luke's) buddy and has questionable motives and tries to leave at one point but decides to come back to help out. And, of course, Luke is now Yoda, the one Rey (Luke) goes to for Jedi training; the last remaining Jedi Master.

Having parallel plot, themes, and character arcs appears to be a guiding motif. The idea, basically, is that there are the original characters, and then there are shadows or types of the original characters incarnated as the new characters. This leads us to ask, where is Lando? Where is Boba Fett? Is the motif meant to give us correct clues or to throw us off the trail?

I can't put all the pieces together though. There is clearly more to Finn's story. He is a traitor. Darth Vader calls Leia a traitor at the beginning of Episode IV. Captain Phasma seemed pretty eager to get Finn reassigned to her division so she could...not really punish him at all. Also, she was pretty easy to convince about putting down the shields. Not to mention Gwendoline Christie got way too much press to be such a small piece of the puzzle. So Phasma is a spy for the resistance, or maybe a third party with her own agenda. Perhaps she is a sith, or a Mandalorian. Perhaps she is the new Boba Fett. Perhaps Finn is Lando's son. Perhaps Snoke is the original Boba Fett, half digested by the Sarlac, or whatever that thing was called.

My Favorite Things 2015 Edition

Things I discovered, experienced for the first time, or otherwise fell in love with during 2015:

1. Todoist. This is overtaking Evernote as my personal assistant killer app. I've been using it for a few years, but this year I realized I could input household inventory without due dates and then prioritize to assess upcoming budget needs. So awesome. Also, custom filters based on location, the device I'm using, and how much time I have mean I never waste a moment, unless I want to.
2. Cinderella (2015). Mock if you must, but this movie is charming.
3. The Luminaries. The 2013 Man Booker prize winner vaulted straight to the top of my all-time favorite book list along with Ender's Game and Crime and Punishment.
4. Western Austria (Tirol). Europe's longest Alpine Coaster. Dramatic mountains and waterfalls, all with well-mapped hiking/biking trails. Family friendly swimming pools (indoor and outdoor with water slides). Schnitzel with cranberries.
5. The Wright Brothers. After listening to the audiobook of the recent biography, these guys are my heroes.