Frankfurt Has Less Dust

I am in Frankfurt. Katie and the kids are still in the US. So no wife or kids, but I am reunited with the cat, Tiger. So there's that. He apparently missed me because, when I am home, Tiger must be touching me at all times. Cute and endearing for, say, the first 10 minutes.

I basically get paid to be away from my family, so you'd think I would get used to it. I don't. And the last three days have felt like an especially long time. I think this is because I do not yet have Internet at the house. Imagine waking up and, surprise, you're in one of those movies like "Mr. Destiny" and it turns out your life was a dream and you're back in high school in the early 90s. Now you have to figure out how to, for example, call your best friend. Could you do it? Remember, you won't have the Internet or a cell phone. I mean, how did we live? Hmm, should I take an umbrella today? I guess have to check the...what? Check the what? How did we know? Anyway, sucks not having Internet.

I have been here long enough to notice that Germany is not like Egypt, at all, in any way, other than that humans reside in both places. I have been counting grains of sand since arriving here. So far I have seen three, all of which arrived with my boxes from Egypt. When they were discovered, a Hazmat team showed up and shipped them back to Egypt.

There is no garbage visible anywhere. The garbage receptacles are attractive and well organized. You have a different slot into which you must place different colors of glass for recycling. Never mind that once inside the slots, it is the same receptacle. You must place in item in the slot of the corresponding color. A rule for everything and everything by the rule.

The biggest driving hazard is that you will be hit by a biker. Whether you hit them or they hit you, the car is always at fault. Bikers own the road. All sidewalks are divided into the pedestrian side and the biker side. If you are silly enough to ambulate on the bike side, they will not swerve for you. One quick warning and then they will run you over and it will be your fault. 

Surf Camp

With apologies to Caleb, I kept missing him surf. They were far out and it was hard to identify them before it was too late. Maddie had the red wet suit, which facilitated the positive ID.

Beach Morning

Surf camp warm up

The Rental Car Issue

This has been the summer of rental cars, which we experienced thus:

1. Chevy Spark. It is sort of unfair to give this car-like vehicle a negative review because you get what you pay for and I was trying to be frugal. So I will focus on the positive: It was the best golf cart I've ever driven.
2. Chrysler 300. In this case I was not being frugal, so the car deserves all the negative sentiment that can possibly be ascribed to a car. This was the upgrade that wasn't, so I "downgraded" to the far superior Kia Soul. If you're going to create a media console user interface requiring Hammurabi's Code, the least you could do is give me an armrest for my elbow while I fiddle with the non-responsive touch screen. Alas, no armrest, on either side. What am I supposed to do, drive with my hands on the wheel?
3. Kia Soul. The highlight of the summer. I want to buy one. I called it the Harry Potter car because it is small on the outside and big on the inside. Loved it. And I didn't have to get a degree in deciphering craptastically designed media console user interfaces. It was just a radio and a reverse camera. Perfect.
4. Buick Enclave. Fine, I guess. But again, if I have to read the instructions to figure out a tech gadget, then that is a poorly designed tech gadget. Another super terrible user interface. Also ugly.
5. Toyota Rav4. Excites no passion but, man, super practical. Reverse cam yes! Traditional radio yes! Win, win.
6. GMC Acadia. See Buick Enclave. Luxurious in all the wrong places.

The take away: when I go shopping for a new car in a few weeks, my top priority will be to find one without a touch screen media console. Hate those. Seriously, what is the point? If I want that, I will just plug in my iPhone. I want a straight forward radio and a USB jack. The reverse cam is cool too. All the other junk is over-engineered junk. Did I say junk twice? Let me say it a third time: junk.

4th of July Highlights

My top two 4th of July moments, and then a chronology of the day (for the record).

1. The Classy 97 float at the parade was the most boring and useless float ever, until the dude standing on top of the truck yelled out, channelling Alice Cooper, "Soft rock rules. Oh yeah!" Nailed it.
2. Driving to the big fireworks display from the front yard display, Katie and I were talking in the front seat. Caleb interrupted to observe, "You know what grown ups are really good at? Having a conversation about the same thing for a long time. Kids change topics like every minute or so."

Turns out, Idaho Falls, ID is one of the best places to celebrate Independence Day (link). I agree. I started the day running the parade route in the Firecracker 5k. After years of running on a treadmill at sea level, I have gained an inflated sense of my speed. So far in two real (outdoors, no treadmill) 5k's I have not come near my treadmill pace.

After the race, the parade (special thanks to Krisy Wolle for letting us sit on her lawn!):

Then, gramma hosted a carnival in her backyard. Ring toss, sack races, tickets and prizes. The whole deal.

Manning the prize table

The pyrotechnics began around 3 pm with modified tank battles

And then moved to the front yard and street

Apologies to the clean up crew

Fireworks = mind blown

We topped it off this morning with the Color in Motion 5k in Rexburg

Hart Family Reunion 2014

Our first week back from Egypt was spent in South Carolina, still at sea level and still hot. So when our second week found us in Stanley, Idaho at 6,500 feet elevation with temperatures below freezing, we were not well acclimated. As per the norm for Hart family gatherings, the first night was filled with rain that escaped the forecasters' notice.

Camp activity highlights:

Biking

The first morning, I hit the bike trail with my bike-crazy brothers. I can out run them all I'm pretty sure, but I don't bike. And I don't do anything at this elevation. So about 4 miles into our 5 mile ascent to 8,000 feet, my thighs said, "We're done, thank you." Also, my butt still hurts from the bike seat. Why have they not yet cracked the code for comfortable bike seats? Maddie apparently was a model citizen on a family ride in which I did not participate because my boys were, for reasons I cannot discern, unwilling to partake.

Lip Sync Contest

Video was banned to encourage broad participation.

I serenaded Katie with a heart-felt "I'll Never Let You Go"

Maddie delivered the final note of "Let It Go" with flair.

Then we rocked out a family version of "Everything is Awesome."Note the boys' tee shirts.

The Lake

The cousins established a beach swimming pool building enterprise in which workers were given such titles as "hangover manager." It took me a while to understand that this referred to building what might be better referred to as an over hang. After a few promotions, one could aspire to become "Swimming Pool Lord."

At one point, Caleb became frustrated and declared, "Good bosses don't micromanage." Yes, the lessons of The Lego Movie.

Henry's Birthday

It's Darth Maul

The Campfire

Collectively, I think we can quote every line ever delivered by Will Ferrell in a movie.