Day After Christmas Update

The Wii picked up steam with the addition of Mario Cart and Light Saber duels. The tree has been dead for about four days now, so it's going down immediately. The carpet received gum, drinkable yogurt, and sparkling cranberry juice. Merry Christmas, carpet!

The Christmas Report

I picked out a book to give to Katie for Christmas. Upon opening, she said, "Oh, Tim, you'll enjoy reading this."

Well, there's always next year.

As for me, I made out like a bandit with a nostalgic Seattle Seahawks sweatshirt to replace the tattered one I've been wearing on weekends since 9th grade. Also, cold-weather jogging pants and shirt. Also, two very nice ties. Also, Boston Celtics pajamas. I couldn't be happier.

Santa remembered everything on the kids' lists, plus a few extras. I caused great offense when I told Maddie her FurReal Go Go Dog was fake. She held it close and ran to the bedroom saying, "It's OK. I know you're a real doggie." Maddie has also started a jewelry store with items created using Glow Bendaroos provided by Santa. Now that's a low-cost supply chain. Not exactly Just-In-Time, however. Additional Maddie highlights: Glow Doodle. Mosaic art kit. Fashion design kit. She has systematically played with all of them. I'd say the jewelry design business has occupied the most time.

Caleb also got everything on his list. His eyes are older than his interests, however. He's just not quite into assembling Legos himself. Maybe six months away. So we have 4 sets of Star Wars: Clone Wars Legos that are essentially for me. Which is awesome. The Bionicles, on the other hand are experiencing heavy usage. He is not strong enough to cock the Nerf dart gun, so again, a great gift for me. I have already shot Katie in the eye. Red Rider Bee Bee Gun anyone? Other highlights: Paper airplane design kit, violin.

Henry mostly received joint gifts with Caleb. Combo Nerf gun pack: not old enough. Basketball hoop: high interest. Nerf swords: heavy usage, broken furniture. Most played with: cars from Cars. Other highlights: Spiderman, Nerf football.

Coping

When Katie found out I had been assigned to Islamabad for a year (the Denver of the Asian Plateau?) she immediately purchased a 14-foot diameter spring-loaded black vinyl circle. The kids call it the jumpalator. Seeing its eight-foot-high steel-reinforced mesh encasement, I call it Celebrity Death Match.

By any name, so far it is a raging success. I put my money on Brittany to defeat Michael and retreat inside for newly child-free Saturdays. Katie, I salute you.

Final Stop: Charleston

Cross Country Stop 8: Atlanta

Caleb's Funny Questions

I took Caleb to see "Secretariat" over the weekend. After, Caleb was disappointed. "Dad, they never told the secret."

"What secret, Buddy?"

"The horse's secret. What was his secret?"

"Caleb, I'm not sure what you're talking about. There was no secret."

"The 'tariat,' Daddy. The secret tariat. What was the secret?"

Reminded me of his burning question after his first viewing of Star Wars: Dad, if light sabers can stop lasers, why can't they stop tractor beams?

Cross Country Stop 7: Memphis

Cross Country Stop 6: Champaign

Cross Country Stop 5: St. Louis

Cross Country Stop 4: Kansas City

Cross Country Stop 3: Denver

Cross Country Stop 2: Moab

Cross Country Stop 1: Provo

Tim Makes Good

B-School Study Spot

In my place

Since starting at his new school, Caleb has been very excited for me to see his classroom. So I went to work late the other day and took the chance to drive him to school. Once at his classroom, however, his priorities seemed to shift. Friends were waiting to be played with.

"What did you want to show me, bud?"

"Nothing, dad. You can go home now."

"OK, give me a kiss."

"I don't need one. You can go home now, dad."

Loud and clear little buddy.

Last Days in Idaho Before Cross-Country Drive

More from Disneyland in April

On the Boat

Henry

Henry, thumb in mouth, other hand in his pants, bopping to "Juke Box Hero."

Maddie, on Henry: "I know he's smart because he's so good at being bad."

A new record for times being told to walk, not run at the swimming pool. I tried to explain to them that he literally cannot walk. He has two speeds: Asleep and running. This makes church meetings a challenge. I usually give up five minutes in and we go to the basement and play "crash."

Wave Dancer

She enchants the sea gods with spontaneous choreography in the still frigid waves of the New Hampshire beach. The setting sun casts her shadow long across the diamond water. Jump. Twirl. Bow. The Wavedancer; immortal in her father's adoring heart.

Six going on...

Madeline has taken very bravely to riding the bus to school. We were driving her each day, you know, helping her adjust to the new school. Protecting her fragile six-year-old psyche. "Why can't I just take the bus like the other kids?" She asked on day three. Wish granted.

For whatever reason, the sight of her, wearing a giant pink backpack, waiting in line at the bus stop gives me great pride and satisfaction.

Then we were late one day so I had to drive her. I walked her to class. She saw her friends and ran to join them. I walked behind and when I caught up, gave her a kiss and said, "I love you." She responded, without looking at me, "Whatever dad. Shouldn't you go home now?"

Culture Wars

Tim: Spend less
Katie: Earn more

Tim: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
Katie: If you don't have anything nice to say, let's chat over lunch

Tim: If you want something done right, do it yourself
Katie: If you want something done right, hire a professional

Tim: Why win when you can compromise
Katie: Why compromise when you can win

Cross Country Chronicle III

Day 6

After stopping 45 minutes outside of St. Louis due to driver fatigue, we woke up in our stinky, dirty Foristell, MO Best Western. Henry spilled three cups of orange juice, two on purpose, in the lounge. Then on to the Arch. Saw the arch. Henry had a urinary explosion at the museum under the arch (don't ask) resulting in a Griswald-esque moment of Katie and me chasing the mostly naked, pee-covered, screaming boy around the museum with Maddie and Caleb, confused and hungry, running behind. Lovely. We lunched "on the water," stopped by Walmart, then headed to Champaign. Dinner with Brent and Holly. Thanks, Holly. More Wii for the kids. Trampoline. Going down slide on a sled. That was new. All followed by another evening drive to Mt. Vernon.

Day 7

Foristell, MO convinced us to ditch Best Westerns. Upgrade to Fairfield Marriott. Felt much better. Katie lamented that "upgrading" has come to mean staying at a Fairfield Inn. Sigh. I promise I'll be employed soon. No spills at breakfast. Not really loving these free continental breakfasts. On the road to Memphis. Lunched at Central BBQ in Memphis, then stopped by the Kimball residence. Maddie painted. Caleb and Henry wrestled with the quadruplets. On to Birmingham.

Day 8

Thanks to me sweet negotiating skills (thanks, Dr. Money) we finally stayed at a real hotel in Birmingham for less than we paid almost anywhere else the whole trip. The kids loved the floor-to-ceiling window on the 11th floor. On the road again by 8:30 a.m. Alabama is pretty. Next stop: Lilburn, GA to see the Golds. Met new Max. Saw giant spider. And, finally, on to Charleston.

Cross Country Chronicle II

Day 3

Discovered Chocolate Cheerios. Thanks, Dina. Drove through crazy hail storm in Eastern Colorado. Stopped at McDonalds in WaKeeny, KS. Kids fought about Happy Meal toys. Swimming at WaKeeney Best Western.

Day 4

Free Continental Breakfast. On to Matt and Beth's in Kansas City. Kids messed up Lily and Thomas' bedrooms. Polly Pocket. Lightning McQueen. Thomas introduced kids to Wii. Kids were grateful.

Day 5

Henry introduced to Naked Green Drink. Henry was grateful. More Wii. Star Wars reenactments in the back yard. Lunch at Gates. Thanks, Matt. Night driving to Saint Louis.

Cross Country Chronicle

Day 1

Idaho Falls to Provo. Lunch with John and Maria. Kids played with cousins. Then Provo to Moab. Dinner at Moab Diner. Kids fought at Moab Diner. Kids had timeout just outside Moab Diner. Night swimming in heated, outdoor pool at Moab Sleep Inn. Chased Henry all around Moab Sleep Inn for about 45 minutes. Watched Jazz beat Nuggets!

Day 2

Hiked around Arches National Park. Had a picnic in Fruita, CO. Told Caleb there would be tunnels on I-70. He fell asleep and missed the tunnels. Major problem when he woke up and wanted to see tunnels. White out conditions at Vail Pass. Stayed with Chatwins in Denver. Trampoline, hamburgers, s'mores.

Maddie at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique

Taking Shape

Katie has met her match, and her name is Madeline. I have yet to meet another who can consistently out-negotiate Katie. Though it is Caleb who says he wants to be a lawyer like his mom. Maddie still wants to be a princess ballerina.

In skiing, too, Katie, has produced like-minded off-spring. Maddie and Caleb love it. Maddie, in full-speed tuck position, skis Sundance top to bottom without help at breakneck speed.

"Maybe you should try turning," Katie suggests.

"No, Mommy," Maddie commands. "I like fast."

She also likes fashion and dancing. Maddie designs princess dresses and watches "Project Runway." She loves ballet lessons and continues them on her own until much past her bedtime. She will only listen to "ballet music" no matter how much I try to convince her that Led Zeppelin is inspirational.

Blessed

Kit died this morning. He was more Katie's friend than mine; she knew him longer anyway.

I did what I could to relieve his suffering: lifting him into and out of the car; holding the hamburger to his mouth so he could take a bite, etc. Such actions brought me gratitude and perspective. My suffering was relieved. I don't suspect I did much for Kit's.

Rest in peace, my friend.

I dare you to break in

Attempting to get to the living room at 5 a.m. without waking anyone.

Step one: stuffed squeezable T Rex toy. "ROAR." Pause. No stirring from the kids' room. Phew.

Step two: Leap Frog spelling toy, spells words when pressed. "Can you spell bat?" How do you turn this thing off? "Press the letter that makes the 'b' sound." Off button, WHERE ARE YOU? "Press the letter 'b'." Off. Pause. No stirring. Phew.

Step three: Police car with motion activated siren: "WEE-OO, WEE-OO." For the love. Pause. No stirring.

Safely in the living room on the couch, computer open, homework started: a mild sneeze.

"Mama."

You've got to be kidding me.

Just to make sure I bemember

Caleb likes to bemember when we betended we were bezommies (zombies). Love that kid.

Writing Lesson

I write Caleb's name on the paper. "Now just make it look like that."

Caleb begins to write...a circle. "Nope," he says. "That's not a C." He begins again. "Nope. That's a candy cane." Then he draws candy canes. One of the candy canes is sideways. "That's not a candy cane. That's a gun." He begins drawing guns, now with sound effects.

Then the pencil becomes a gun. I am the target.

"Caleb, I'm so pleased we could have this time together to practice writing your name."