Saturday, January 30, 2016

The Quantum Mechanics of Family Council

I've been listening to a biography of Albert Einstein for the past few weeks as I walk to work. It is interesting to me that after introducing the theories that gave rise to quantum physics, Mr. Einstein distanced himself from the implications as the uncertainty at the heart of it made him uneasy. He called it "spooky" and frequently commented that "God would not play dice with the universe."

I'm no physicist, obviously, but as I understand it, at the core of his concern is the Uncertainty Principle which is (more or less) that we cannot know the precise attributes of sub-atomic particles at any particular moment. All we know are the probabilities. A particle is likely to be here or there. That is all we can know.

But it actually goes even deeper. You see, at least as far as I've understood the discussion as presented in the book, the reason we can't know is that the particles aren't actually anywhere until we observe them. There is no objective reality until we observe it. Einstein rejected this, based on logic, but contrary to evidence.

I kind of love it. I find it beautiful and, in a way, empowering. I can create reality. As a man of religion, I wonder about the meaning of faith in light of a universe in which our will apparently can interact dynamically with the reality around us.

When asked whether he was religious, Einstein said he believed in an impersonal God that organized the universe. Despite his reservations about quantum physics, he rested this believe, in part, on the field's implied requirement that something must observe the universe in order to give it form. He called that observer God. Well, so do I. I also believe that He is personal.

Then I got thinking about family council. Our family life has become much happier since we started consistent family councils on Sunday afternoons. The events that happen in our families have no meaning. They are formless. They are like unobserved electrons. Then we come together and discuss the events. We observe them formally which gives them shape and meaning. And we get to choose the shape and the meaning by how we observe them.

No, we don't reinvent. It is more subtle. We can shape the meaning of events by formally discussing them and by proactively assigning positive meaning. This is also the value of journal writing. This is also the value of goal setting. We create the shape of our reality. We invent the future. We take the infinite quantum probabilities and make them finite realities by exercising our free will. 

But when we are passive, when we haven't any goals, we are but random electrons in no particular place at no particular time, reacting randomly to the universe.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Maddie the Fish

Madeline is on the swim team. They practice at 7 am and it is a 30 minute drive from the house. So we get up early. I drive her to swimming at 6:30 am. It is a special bonding time...during which we sit in utter silence. One time I tried to talk to her and we were both a little startled at the sound of my voice. I had broken the code of pre-dawn silence.

She is the youngest and smallest to have made the team. She is not winning any races at the meets.

When she returned from a recent meet in Munich, she informed us she achieved personal best times, by a wide margin, but nevertheless failed to qualify for the final meet in Warsaw. She was disappointed. Then she made me very proud.

She said she didn't want to be disappointed like that again, so she committed to attending every practice with the team and working harder than ever for the next two weeks even though she is not swimming in the meet. She committed to doing whatever it would take to make the swim team, and eventually win some races, in Manila. She said she does not want to play softball this spring or soccer next fall, only swimming, always.

A few days later, she was informed she could attend the meet in Warsaw because another swimmer had to drop out!

And a pic, because snow.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Anxiety

Henry sometimes throws tantrums (don't we all). He can get rather loud and a bit violent.

His fits had been decreasing in frequency but have been almost daily since Christmas. Here are some of my super clever, highly researched tantrum defeating  and prevention methods I have tried over the years*:
  1. Yelling back
  2. Time outs
  3. Dragging him by his feet to his room
  4. Threatening to take away toys
  5. Taking away toys
  6. Throwing toys in the garbage
  7. Realizing I was being childish and removing toys from the garbage
  8. Standing silently in a coil of my own barely contained rage waiting for him to unwind
  9. Leaving him on the side of the road
  10. Wrestling him to the ground and pinning all of his limbs
In case anyone reading is in a position to benefit from my experience, let me save you some time: none of these methods were effective.

Anyway, I have been attempting a more prayerful, thoughtful approach. Since anger hasn't worked, why not try kindness, I thought? It couldn't be any worse and at least then I'm not angry. This led me the other day to a tantrum-following quiet conversation with Henry that went something like this:

Will I have a bed in Manila?

Yes. Of course.

The same bed?

No, different bed, but the same sheets and pillow.

Oh. Can I bring my stuffed animals to Manila?

Of course.

Oh. Can I pack them now so I don't forget?

Sure.

I already packed all my action figures, so I don't forget. There in this box.

And here we are at the Reichstag in Berlin
* Katie wanted me to add that these include exaggeration for effect

Sunday, January 10, 2016

A Late Christmas Video

We had to wait for the arrival of some gifts that had been shipped to Egypt by mistake, so we just finished celebrating "2nd Christmas" and taking down decorations this weekend. The video below is mostly interesting to grandparents, but I made sure the end had a little funny for those who stick with it.

Grit

I just finished reading Grit, by Angela Duckworth. Read it! As with many such books, it left me with a bit of anxiety as I realize tha...