The Aboriginal Bedtime Dance

It's a very complex ritual. Like something you might find among bees and their decision-making dances and wiggles.

1) Family prayer: circling, running away, coming together, it's like a flock of birds trying to gather in the middle of the living room...somehow, through this intricate pattern of arm grabs, false starts, redos, standing and kneeling, exhausted glances between parents, meaning is conveyed: they are a family.

2) Story time: first, the number of books is meticulously negotiated. It always settles on three, but both parties have to start at one and five respectively or entire ritual explodes into noisy confusion. The first book, then a cheese stick. The second book, then a sippy cup. During the third book, the female brushes her front teeth. After the third, dad brushes her back teeth.

3) Pajamas: with the male it's a matter of force, but as demanded by the strict code of ritual, he makes the obligatory kicks and screams. Then there is a feigned decision process between whether mom or dad will put him to bed. It will be mom but the question must be asked. One song. Lay him down. He's out for the night. For the female, more negotiations. It ends with her wearing a sun dress with leggings underneath. But again, it has to start with pajamas versus Cinderella dress, otherwise neither party will know the script and the process will fall into choas.

4) Bedtime for the female: two stories, four songs, three kisses and a bonus kiss from mom. Two stories, four songs, three kisses and a bonus kiss from dad. This is followed by ten minutes of playing in her room alone with the doll house. Then she retrieves three books from the living room and returns to her bedroom. Eventually she turns of the light and goes to sleep on a pile of books on her floor.