I dare you to break in

Attempting to get to the living room at 5 a.m. without waking anyone.

Step one: stuffed squeezable T Rex toy. "ROAR." Pause. No stirring from the kids' room. Phew.

Step two: Leap Frog spelling toy, spells words when pressed. "Can you spell bat?" How do you turn this thing off? "Press the letter that makes the 'b' sound." Off button, WHERE ARE YOU? "Press the letter 'b'." Off. Pause. No stirring. Phew.

Step three: Police car with motion activated siren: "WEE-OO, WEE-OO." For the love. Pause. No stirring.

Safely in the living room on the couch, computer open, homework started: a mild sneeze.

"Mama."

You've got to be kidding me.