Why Men Gain Weight

When I had a male cook. I lost weight. Now that I have a female cook, I'm gaining it all back. She keeps saying that my wife would surely expect her to take better care of me and that if I go home skinny, it will mean that she has failed. She just keeps making food that I don't ask for, don't want, don't need. And I don't think she would stop even over my obese, diabetes-afflicted, artery-clogged dead body. One week after bragging over getting into the best shape I've been in since high school, I may have to take it all back.