6 months removed from a year in Pakistan and some difficult and unexpected consequences of time away from family are just now fully manifest.
A quote from a parenting book Katie and I are presently reading and trying to implement will set the scene: "Pouting is a passive behavior that is designed to make you (the parent) feel guilty. If you do feel guilty when your child pouts, that's really more your problem."
But you see, I just couldn't help it. Psychologically, after a year a way, I simply could not resist the slightest pouting. Even if I wanted to, it was impossible. Predictably, I reinforced sub optimal child behaviors as I tried to recover from the strange "We all know and agree I had to go but I still feel totally guilty for leaving you alone" sensation. Predictably, this frustrated Katie.
So yes, I felt guilty when my children pouted. I felt guilty even when they didn't. Yes, this is my problem. Now it is also Katie's problem.
On the bright side, when one is blessed with kids (and wife) who are fundamentally good, these problems can be resolved.
A quote from a parenting book Katie and I are presently reading and trying to implement will set the scene: "Pouting is a passive behavior that is designed to make you (the parent) feel guilty. If you do feel guilty when your child pouts, that's really more your problem."
But you see, I just couldn't help it. Psychologically, after a year a way, I simply could not resist the slightest pouting. Even if I wanted to, it was impossible. Predictably, I reinforced sub optimal child behaviors as I tried to recover from the strange "We all know and agree I had to go but I still feel totally guilty for leaving you alone" sensation. Predictably, this frustrated Katie.
So yes, I felt guilty when my children pouted. I felt guilty even when they didn't. Yes, this is my problem. Now it is also Katie's problem.
On the bright side, when one is blessed with kids (and wife) who are fundamentally good, these problems can be resolved.
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