Maddie's First Blog Post

I asked Maddie to share a story for the blog. She chose this previously written story of her fall swim meet:

Yippy, even though I lost a soccer game, I was so excited to go to the swim meet! I was sitting on the bleachers with my dad eating spaghetti. Jen came over and told me that Hillary was over on the other school’s bleachers. So I walked over there. Abby joined in. We played Ninja, Spy and a bunch of other games. And then announcement came over the loudspeaker, all children please go upstairs immediately.  So we went up the steps.  When a teacher called my name I walked up. And she wrote in black marker: # 27 back. Gabriela got: # 22 back. Hillary got: # 27 back. Abby got: # 27 back too! So me, Hillary and Abby have the same activity! Sorry for Gab, I thought. When it was my turn I hopped in the water. And got in my position. I was vibrating very quickly. Ready--------------RRRR! I pushed off the wall. And when I saw the first row of flags I started moving my arms. I touched the wall. Then everybody else touched the wall. I WON MY HEAT! I was so excited I won my heat!  There was a huge smile on my face. I could not stop smiling.

And ever since then I loved to race because I was confident.

SNL Ditka Skit Meets Dwight Shrute

"Dad, who would win, Phineas and Ferb or Spy Kids?"
--
"Dad, which is stronger, a pegasus or a hypogriph?"
--
"Dad, which would win, a werewolf or a vampire?"
--
"Dad, who is stronger, Toby McGwire Spiderman or Andrew Garfield Spiderman?"
"Wait, what? How do you know the actors' names? We haven't even watched those movies."
"Dad, just stay focused. Who would win?"

Undefeated

We finished the season with a double header this morning. We started at 8 a.m., by which time it was already 100 degrees. League officials keep reminding me that we only keep score to know when to switch innings (6 runs per inning limit). Nevertheless, I am pleased to announce that we won both games to finish the season undefeated.

In post-season team awards, Caleb received the "Toughness" award for playing the final double header with a severe ear infection. Maddie received the "Dedication" award for staying after practice to keep working on her throw.

Another Of My Quirks (Top 100 Brands)

I suspect many readers of this blog will find the following thoroughly useless and uninteresting. To those finding themselves in this category I say, "You must take the good with the bad." In addition to my previously disclosed quirky fascination with the NFL Draft and box office results, I love brands and branding and periodically like to inspect my family's interactions therewith.

The annual list of the 100 most valuable brands was recently revealed. Below are the brands from that list with which we have frequent and/or regular deliberate interaction. (Brand rank in parentheses) Brand Name. Seriousness of our relationship in italics.

(1) Apple. Religious zealot.
(2) Google. Acquaintance of convenience.
(4) McDonalds. Acquaintance of convenience.
(5) Coca Cola. Loyal friend.
(9) Visa. Acquaintance of convenience.
(14) Amazon. Acquaintance of convenience.
(23) Toyota. Loyal friend.
(26) Disney. Religious zealot.
(31) Facebook. Acquaintance of convenience.
(45) Gillette. Loyal friend.
(50) Colgate. Loyal friend.
(56) Nike. Religious zealot.
(81) Chase. Acquaintance of convenience.
(92) Yahoo. Acquaintance of convenience.

A Few Pics From Maddie's Ninth Birthday Party

Party Theme: A Minute To Win It (Maddie's favorite TV show). Here she is playing one of the games.

A Year in Cairo (Heaven on Earth?)

We've been in Cairo for a year. I know, weird. Right? One year in Cairo to recover from one year in Pakistan.

The Pakistan year was hard in surprising ways. It had an echo. One year is enough time to completely reset habits. I was a bachelor returning to a wife and children. I think they call that reverse culture shock. I got mad for totally illogical reasons more than a few times.

But all that is gone. We're settled in nicely. Katie and I just agreed to run the American expat Cub Scouts program in the area next year. I just ordered a scout belt with a really big scout logo belt buckle. Yep. I did that.

We're coaching in all the leagues. Katie is on something like three thousand committees at the school. Thankfully, they all have super brief ALL DAY meetings (!). We're involved and loving it (except did I mention about the ALL DAY meetings?).

My kids grew up this year. Yeah, yeah, they grow up every year. But this is different. They grew up. They're, like, mature and stuff. Maddie still asks for help preparing cold cereal for breakfast (?), but she turned the corner in all kinds of other ways. She gets stuff. Long gone are the days of free-speaking "grown up" conversations in front of the kids. She knows everything that is going on.

Maddie also turned the corner in baseball this week. All at once the rules and the nuance all clicked. She turned to me at practice and said, "Wait, I just have to tag the base because the runner has no where else to go." The game clicked. For the rest of practice, I no longer had to give her any tips about where to stand, where to throw, when to go for the ball versus cover the base. She got it.

Then she asked if she could stay after and throw the ball around with me. Um, that's a yes. I've been waiting nine years for her to ask me that. And she turned the corner in throwing as well. From 30 feet, she was throwing right into my chest, with heat. Afterward, she announced her new goal of playing for BYU's softball team. Like it was Father's Day or something. I have no need of heaven. I've got paradise right here in dirty, dusty, noisy Cairo.

The Comeback

It was a grounder, but it had some zip, and it rolled through the legs of the Dodgers' second baseman. The runner for the Twins saw the error and took a chance rounding first to leg out the double.

The second baseman retrieved the ball and raced to the base, reaching for the runner's outstretched leg. Out!

It was the third and final out of the third inning (7-8 Year-Old Maadi Little League plays three innings per game, with each side of an inning ending after 6 runs or 3 outs) and it earned the Dodgers a dramatic 16-15 victory after trailing most of the game.

Having scored the maximum 6 runs in every inning so far this season, the Dodgers brought just 4 home in the top of the first as the Twins displayed excellent defense. Until the bottom of the third, each team scored the 6 run maximum from that point forward. Thus, the bottom of the third began with the Dodgers holding a 16-12 lead. They could only allow three runs on a day in which their defense had been struggling.

The inning started with a line drive that sailed over the center fielder's head for a triple. The next batter brought him home with a sacrifice single. The Dodgers' prospects were grim.

The defense tightened. The next batter hit a dribbling grounder to the pitcher who made the throw to first for the out. A single. Then a home run. Three runs. Two outs.

The next batter, as described above, ignored the first base coach and stretched for the double. Base running is an overlooked skill. Out. Victory Dodgers.

(Coaching Little League is cool)

Getting Caleb geared up for catcher

Maddie plays third

Tim revels in victory

I Want Him to Be a Man, But I Don't Want Him to Grow Up

It's 6 am. Caleb and I have been up for an hour. During this time, Caleb has described, in exquisite detail, the nuances of Minecraft. His recent pattern is to get up early to finish his homework and have iPad time without sibling interruption or competition.

Last night was baseball practice. While we walked to the field, he held my hand. As we neared the field he said, "I can't hold your hand now because we're at practice." He held my hand again when we walked home. Someday he won't hold my hand at all.

Last week we were on vacation at a place I call Little Des Moines. Others call it The Moon Colony. There is this strange little place in the Nile Delta that has row houses and wide streets and where you say to the kids, "See you later. Come home when you're hungry." And they ride bikes and play all day without supervision. There is a gym. And Caleb decided he wanted to work out with me every day on vacation. Awesome. Me and my buddy rocking the jumping jacks, burpees, medicine ball. What a kid.

I had a tailor come to the house to make me some new suits. Caleb was curious. "Do you want one, buddy?" He did. So now we have matching custom-made Egyptian cotton suits. I feel like we should co-star in a ZZ Top video.

And he says things like this: "Dad, I sure hope you're the scout leader again next year for Wolves."

"I will be."

And he pumps his fists in the air with excitement. That's called ego-satisfaction, my friends. And it's great.

Cool kid.

My Kids' Dad Might Be a Geek

U.S. prime time television starts at 2 a.m. in the Middle East. Sometimes that is perfect. It meant no one  objected when I totally zoned out and watched the entire NFL Draft without paying attention to anyone else. Loved it. That was my best NFL Draft watching geek out in at least 10 years (Ziggy!).

Though now that they've made it a two day affair, it's gotten tricky. I started having Tim Burton hallucinations narrated by Mel Kiper, Jr. starting around 3 a.m. day two.

Then, having lunch with some friends today, I discovered that NFL Draftiness is not the upper limit of my geekdom. James Bond films were the topic. Skyfall's box office revenue the debate. My addition, "It's really not that impressive when you consider that Thunderball is the highest grossing Bond film of all time if you adjust for inflation."

This was received with incredulity and then confirmed by smart phone. Then, "How did you know that?" and "Why did you know that?"

I have my things.

Most Honorable Mother-In-Law Visit (as told by Son-In-Law)

The travel agency offered a discounted pyramid tour to welcome my "most honorable mother-in-law" to Egypt.

First item of business, will we be able to watch March Madness? Yes. Okay, this might be a good trip. Though, somehow I was watching alone at 2 a.m. when young Mr. Ware discovered what bone marrow looks like.

Half-drunk Diet Coke in kitchen. Half-drunk Diet Coke on the dining table. Half-drunk Diet Coke on the coffee table. Half-drunk Diet Coke in the car...make that two in the car. There's another on the coffee table. And one in the bathroom. Wait, is that a half-drunk Diet Coke by the kitty litter? I draw the line!

On day two, Martha was able to enjoy watching The Hobbit after the manner of Caleb.

"Nana, they don't really show it, but it's a dragon. Really it's a fire drake, but normal people just call it a dragon. It's from the north. Dragons love gold."

"Nana, did you know that when Gollum makes that noise it sounds like he's saying 'gollum'? That's how he got his name."

"What does incinerate mean?"

On day three I went to Cairo American College (where the kids attend) and found that Martha already had three times as many friends as I do. And I have friends, despite what you might think.

On day four the art work moved and the bookshelves were rearranged.

We went to the pyramids, as depicted in prior post, and then went to the papyrus racket, er, store and then to the, um, essence place, or something, where they put drops of mint "essence" in hot water and had me sniff it and then Moses led the Israelites through my sinus cavity. So that was different. Caleb was sick, so I sat in the car eating Nilla Wafers with him for the remainder of the essence sniffing. Sometimes sick kids are just what you need.

Everyone ended up, somehow, sleeping in wrong rooms on Easter night. So, of course, when Maddie woke first, and saw Easter eggs in Caleb's room where she was sleeping, she hunted them all down and picked them all up. When I came to and saw her arms full of Easter eggs and her bedroom door still closed: Danger!

I invited her to read the Easter Bunny's note: that he had left each kids' eggs in their own bedrooms. At that very moment, Caleb exited Maddie's room (why was he sleeping in there, I wondered in excruciating bewilderment) and asked what the note said. Maddie, with typical tact, explained: The Easter Bunny hid each of our eggs in our own rooms but don't worry I already found all of yours.

So Katie stepped in and negotiated a cease fire involving exchange of real estate and surrender of certain sovereign rights. At length chocolate was eaten, teeth rotted, and the people rejoiced.

Went to the Red Sea (Gulf of Suez technically, but it's all connected right). Friends from church had a baptism in the Red Sea while we were there. Oh the serene spiritual power of giant poisonous jellyfish. So Caleb decided he will just execute his baptism (coming next year) in the small pool behind the church villa.

And then the Most Honorable Mother In Law departed, and we were sad.

A Trip To The Pyramids

FYI, Caleb is imitating statue on opposite wall.

Entering the tomb