More Swift Than Anticipated

She's growing up. Shown here on her trip, with Katie, to Cologne for a Taylor Swift concert.

If You Go To Berlin

Tip 1. Don't drive from Frankfurt on the first day of a holiday that is only a holiday in Frankfurt and not in Berlin and on the weekend of the European Champions League championship game in Berlin. If you drive from Frankfurt on this day, the 4.5 hour drive will take 7 hours. All the Frankfurters are leaving town because they have holiday, but their friends and family in Berlin, or Hamburg, or Cologne, don't. So all the traffic is outbound. Then, when you get to Berlin, all the traffic is inbound on account of the big soccer game. Also, while there is technically no speed limit most of the time on the autobahn, there is always construction, so you go slow anyway. Myth busted.

14 hours of our 4-day weekend.

Tip 2. Swim in the Wannsee. Did you know Berlin has an awesome lake? I did not. Now you know. Just note that Germans are very comfortable with nudity.

Gorillas in the Wannsee mist

Tip 3. While not ideal for grown ups wanting to really get the history, when traveling with kids, a family can see the compulsory sites in one day. Just note that if you are an average American like me, you probably know way less of the history than you think you do. Why did I learn only three days ago that the Berlin Wall didn't just divide Berlin but completely surrounded West Berlin. It's obvious when you think about it, which I guess just shows that I had never thought about it.

Walking the Berlin Wall at East Side Gallery

Test driving the Trabant, the only car available in East Germany

An East Berlin living room. Maddie described the couch as "scratchy."

Lady Liberty

Random. Couldn't resist.

Holocaust Memorial

Brandenburg Gate

Annual Totally Awesome Brand Post (That Apparently People Like Even Though I Never Think They Will)

From the recently published Top 100 Brands 2015, here are those with which we (I, Katie, the kids, the family) have deliberate, frequent, and/or repeated interaction. I was once asked in a job interview to name a movie that described my career. In honor of that super useless interview question, I will attempt to describe our relationship with each brand using a movie or TV show.

So it goes: rank. Brand; movie and commentary

1. Apple; The Jetsons. To me, Apple represents the future. When I think of Apple, I think of the future. I've totally fallen for the branding. In Tim's mind, Apple = an exciting new day.
2. Google; Terminator, because, you know, Skynet. Seriously, why did Google purchase a military robotics company? Don't be evil. Yeah, right. And yet here I am using their platform for my blog. Gmail. Google Drive. Chrome. Search. I can't escape.
3. Microsoft; A Beautiful Mind. Because you feel like you're trying to solve a conspiracy theory that doesn't even exist when you try to set up their super-crap products. Also the barf scene in Stand by Me because: Barf!
5. Visa; Married With Children. It's really not that funny, or even noteworthy in any way, and yet it's everywhere. And that family was surely swimming in consumer debt.
8. Coca Cola; It's A Wonderful Life. Because America.
9. McDonalds; Around the World in 80 Days. I really don't love the food, but Micky D's has become an important part of our world travels. Reliable and ubiquitous. I've started taking pictures so at Henry's wedding we can have a slide show of McDonalds around the world.
12. Facebook; Hiding Out. It's a way to pretend we're in high school again.
14. Amazon; Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Madeline asked for a Kindle Fire. I was incredulous. You can get a real product, like an iPad Mini, I explained. But all her friends have the Fire and it has fun games, she said. I'm still trying to process the nonsense of that response. Why does Amazon believe it can steal my child? On the other hand, Amazon Prime is pure gold for overseas shipping.
19. Disney; Fantasia. Magic.
23. Vodaphone; I don't even know. It's not even worth coming up with anything. We stumbled upon them as our cellular provider overseas. Next.
28. Nike; The Departed. Don't get me wrong, I love all my Nike gear, but if they paid bribes to FIFA as alleged, I don't think I can remain loyal. Nike isn't the Patriots, after all. My loyalty has limits (except when it comes to the Patriots).
30. Toyota; Casablanca. It never gets old.
52. Gillette; Mad Max. Forget Fury Road. The original. It's a man thing. Also, do you remember that weird 80's helicopter show Airwolf? That scene where he flips out with rage and pumps a million rounds of ammo into every part of existence. All the while he had a freshly shaved face. If I'm going to go nuts with a super high-tech helicopter, I'm definitely pulling out my Gillette Fusion first. (Ernest Borgnine in a jumpsuit. What a crazy show.)
57. Colgate; Groundhog Day on account of the repetition.
85. LinkedIn; Birdman. Smart people like it, but I've seen it, and I have no idea what to make of it.
89. Chase; Pitch Perfect. Really just that one brief part where the background characters remind us they've been there the whole time and we realize, oh yeah, I totally forgot about them.
92. Twitter; Koyaanisqatsi. Yes, I stumped you with that one. I had to spend several hours of my undergraduate life trying to comprehend this bit of experimental filming. I'm trying to be a good student of Twitter. I'm experimenting with it. It really does seem like there could be something worthwhile there. But often it's just noise.
95. Bank of America; The Abyss. That's my nickname for their customer service. A necessary evil tolerated only because switching costs are very high.

And Caleb's Greek Photos

This is at the international fair and I added it just because Caleb looks cool

Henry had to dress up like something...Oliver Twist? I don't even remember

And here's the toga

Feeling good after his performance and delivering a gift to Nana

Martha Went to France and We All Got High at Maddie's Birthday

All the girls got manicures in our loft area that we set up as a temporary salon for Maddie's birthday party. What we didn't take into account was that our roof is being redone and the windows replaced. We are currently in a state of having no windows upstairs, only sealed plastic coverings, that cannot be opened, while 16 girls have their nails done.

So we all got high.

Martha in Germany and Other Updates

We are meddlesome parents. In my thoughtful moments, I realize I just need to back off and let them figure stuff out, but then I meddle. Caleb had a big presentation coming up about Theseus and the minotaur. He assured us he had it down. Yet we forced him to read the lines. We read the lines to him. We had him repeat them to us. He was not pleased this. "I've got this, sheez."

But then when asked to repeat the lines, he only kind of did it. So we worried but ultimately backed off.

Then he delivered. Oh, did he deliver. He didn't want to repeat the lines, because he had something better in his head. He delivered a seven-minute, one-man play from memory, with asides about how Theseus loved his ninja moves. It was creative and great. And hopefully I learned my lesson. We'll see about that.

Madeline presented her report on whether homework really helps. It does, she regretfully informed her listeners.

And Martha's adventures:

Wurtzburg Cathedral

The Residenz in Wurtzburg

Silly time in Rothenburg ob der Tauber

More Rothenburg

And more Rothenburg

Spain Pics (Final)

This is me acting like an idiot in 1996.

And same location in 2015.

Why? 'Cuz goblins.

Caleb got a new suit from Zara, and felt like a spy.

McDs in foreign lands. It's like a pilgrimage for us.

Spain Pics (Alhambra and Gibraltar)

Spain Pics Part 1 (Semana Santa and Malaga)

Caleb and I had a good view of one of the smaller afternoon processions.

Maddie at the Malaga Alcazaba

Caleb and Jimmie in front of the Alcazaba

Maddie and Henry playing on the cathedral grounds

Malaga cathedral

The photo doesn't do justice to a large, impressive procession.

Churros and chocolate with the Neels

Maddie and Jessie