Getting Out Update

Departure moved up three weeks to May 15. Only three weeks, but somehow it feels so much better. Five months to Disney World.

I Gotta Get Out of This Place

The last few nights at home, Henry woke up yelling for daddy to stay. Maddie repeated that her heart hurt and she couldn't make it stop.

So we decided to get me out of here sooner. My tour was set to end in early May. We were committed to having the kids stay in school in Arlington until the end of the school year, an incredibly late June 22. Then we wanted to spend a little time in Idaho. So we set an Egypt start date of early July.

Unfortunately, I don't have enough leave to get from early May to July. So we extended my tour by a month. Now we have given up on the kids finishing school in Arlington and I am trying to move my Egypt date up a month and get out of here as originally scheduled. Some wheels have already been put in motion, however, around the July date. So wish me luck in turning the heavy gears of bureaucracy.

Vacation Review

Caleb's Kindergarten holiday party. After breakfast, it was reading time. Caleb chose all Hanukkah books.

Dance rehearsal

Henry pretending to eat at the Etz Hayim Hanukkah party

Maddie as angel

Caleb and Henry as shepherds

Among other things, Santa brought suit cases, Camelbaks, and headlamps for the soon-to-be world travelers

Displaying newly pierced ears

Wizards vs Celtics (we all wore green)

One week home (Merry Christmas)

First, Merry Christmas.

But before I get to all the Christmas morning photos, videos, and gift summaries, a little recap of my week home.

It is a psychologically messed up thing to come home after so long away. For one thing, I was the only one on vacation for the first five days. Katie was working and the kids were in school, so I was mostly in the way.

Which gets sort of to the heart of the funny psychology going on. Everyone is happy I'm home, but everyone has defense mechanisms and rhythms to deal with my absence. Upon becoming not absent, I mess up those mechanisms and rhythms, everyone becomes confused and frustrated, sort of wishes I weren't here, feels guilty for having such feelings, and everything just gets, well, weird.

Not to mention I have become quite accustomed to not having anyone ask where I'm going or what I'm doing. So this sudden barrage of inquiries is disorienting.

Katie, for her part, especially enjoys the parenting and house keeping tips I have picked up by not doing any parenting or house keeping for eight months. She says something like, "Wow, thanks. I never thought of that." Then she hands me a diaper and wipes and goes in the bedroom (which is now hers, not ours) for an hour. Kind of a mixed signal if you ask me. Is she really thanking me for my wonderful insights about her parenting?

I can't read minds you know.

Home Early (Katie's Mixed Bag)

I was scheduled to come home on Tuesday. When I Skyped Katie Friday night at 8:30 p.m. (Islamabad time), I was greeted with, "Why aren't you coming home tomorrow?"

I'm sure I had some reason for scheduling my travels as I did, but suddenly I couldn't remember them and it seemed silly to wait all weekend just to leave Monday night. So I went to work. I had two hours to get the ticket changed and pack. Flurry.

How I got the ticket changed is quite an adventure but I will make the long story short: I got on the flight and am currently in Arlington, VA.

Good decision. It is great to be home. The look on the kids' faces when they saw me at the airport was magical. But then I told Katie that I was not too tired for her to go shopping by herself last night. I really have no recollection but apparently I slipped into a coma shortly after her departure and she returned to find her husband asleep on the floor and three guilty-eyed children sitting around a table covered with every sugared food in the house.

Sorry, Katie.

A Victory Worth Waiting For

Couples only fight about the really important stuff, like the appropriate color of Christmas lights.

Katie holds the clearly wrong, bah humbug, boring, 1984 view that Christmas lights should be all-white. What? A string of white Christmas lights? That's not Christmas. That's the illuminated path to the airplane's red lights which indicate the exit, which indicates that you're about to die as the aircraft disintegrates into the ocean. So of course, for the last eight years, I have thought only of death when I have seen our white Christmas lights. Not the Christmas message I was hoping for.

But I'm a choose-your-battles kind of guy. I let Katie have that victory so I could fight and lose the other battles.

Every parent knows that marital spats are best fought by proxy through the children. And Caleb is a mighty weapon, striking blows of irresistible charm.

"Mom, when are we going to get real Christmas lights? Real Christmas lights have colors."

I always said I would never have a favorite. Forget that. He has given me my first win. Caleb the Conqueror.

Not a Competitive Bone in His Body

 

Observe Caleb the Barbarian near the end of the clip

Caught on Video

Caleb does the robot:

Caleb-In-The-Box

On Skype:

Henry: Look! Spiderman! (Sound effects and saliva)
Dad: Wow, buddy that's awesome.
(Caleb's head pops up from below.)
Caleb: Hey, dad.
Dad: Hey, buddy. I didn't know you were there.
Caleb: I know.
(Caleb's head disappears. Enter Maddie.)
Maddie: Dad, when are you coming home?
Henry: Dad never coming home.
Dad: No, I'm coming home in 20 days.
Henry: 20 days is never.
(Caleb's head pops up from below.)
Caleb: Hey, dad.
(Caleb's head disappears.)
Maddie: Dad, can we play games when you come home?
Henry: No. Dad is wrestle me when he home.
Dad: Yes, we'll play games and wrestle. Whatever you guys want.
(Caleb's head pops up)
Caleb: Hey, dad.
(Head disappears)

The Madeline Dossier

Last I heard, Maddie wants to be a teacher. I say she was born for the fashion industry:

Heart Breaker and Heart Throb

Katie says Maddie's reading has exploded. This is good. For me, that didn't happen until I was 25, so she has an 18-year advantage on me, and I turned out all right.

Madeline has discovered self-consciousness. When we Skype, she looks at her image, not mine (of course, so do the boys, but they do it to make silly faces), and poses and brushes her hair. She wears lip gloss but not yet full make up, though I suspect it's coming. She has requested to have her ears pierced. Katie opposes. I support.

"It'll make her that much older," Katie explains.

True. Though that will happen regardless (per the above photo, I'd say it has already happened). My zen parenting philosophy is that the right time to address this or that right of passage or essential conversation, is whenever they ask about it. I suppose there are some obvious limits to this, but when they ask about where babies come from, regardless of their age, that means it's time to talk about where babies come from. And when Maddie requests to have her ears pierced, that means, by virtue of her asking, that she's old enough to have her ears pierced.

The 4Runner Update

I really wanted a decked out 4Runner. Egypt has very high import tariffs on automobiles. Diplomats can import new cars tax free. We cannot sell them for more than the original purchase price, per U.S. policy, but because it is so expensive to buy imported cars, I am told that selling them for exactly purchase price after four years is quite common.

So I was all set to get the fully loaded 4Runner, finance it over six years, and then sell it like it was brand new. I have been dissuaded (sigh). Too much risk of policy change on the Egyptian side. Also, I am told, too much risk of having the car totaled in the wild driving. No four-digging in the desert for me.