And the Photo

Bikes, Trains, and Strategic Memory

There was this one time, we bought new bikes for the whole family from a store way out on the west side of Frankfurt. Do you remember that? And remember how Henry had a bike coming in the shipment from Cairo, but seeing all the beautiful bikes, he really wanted one too so I told him that if he learned to ride the bike he wanted, I would buy it for him. So he learned how to ride a bike right there in the bike store. Remember?

Then we had to get five bikes home on the train because it was too far to ride in a city we didn't know with Henry who had just learned to ride. But do you remember how it was super hard to get the bikes onto the train and we thought it was going to leave with our bikes hanging out the door? That was awesome. But we made it on. But all the bikes kept rolling up and down the aisle because we couldn't hold on to them all and it was kind of stressful, but also kind of funny.

And remember how we split up with me and Caleb at one door, mom and Henry at the next, and Maddie at a third door, so we wouldn't get stuck all trying to get out the same door and maybe not all make it off at the same stop. But then we weren't sure if Maddie remembered how to push the button to open train doors in Frankfurt, because they don't automatically open. So we put down our bag of new helmets to make sure she knew how to do that. And she did.

And we all made it off the train at the same stop and were relieved, until we found out it was the wrong stop. And do you remember how the stop we got off at was about 8 flights of stairs underground and the elevator was broken? So me and mom carried five bikes up all those stairs and when we finally got out of the station we were totally lost because it was the wrong stop.

And remember how we were not only lost, but we were in the middle of the Roemer Festival with huge throngs of people crowding all around, so we could barely move, and we were dragging bikes, and kept getting separated, and I got mad at mom for no reason because I sometimes do that in such circumstances. And when we finally had some breathing room, and could ride the bikes, mom asked for the helmets and then I remembered they were still on the train. That part was especially epic.

And remember how it was totally dark by the time we finally got oriented and knew the way home and it was a two mile ride up hill the whole way and Henry had just learned to ride a bike that day? But then it got awesome because Henry led the way home and made it all the way riding like a pro and our new bikes are awesome and Frankfurt is awesome and we discovered that a kind of stressful night becomes epic family history by simply putting "do you remember that time when" in front of every sentence.

Frankfurt Has Less Dust

I am in Frankfurt. Katie and the kids are still in the US. So no wife or kids, but I am reunited with the cat, Tiger. So there's that. He apparently missed me because, when I am home, Tiger must be touching me at all times. Cute and endearing for, say, the first 10 minutes.

I basically get paid to be away from my family, so you'd think I would get used to it. I don't. And the last three days have felt like an especially long time. I think this is because I do not yet have Internet at the house. Imagine waking up and, surprise, you're in one of those movies like "Mr. Destiny" and it turns out your life was a dream and you're back in high school in the early 90s. Now you have to figure out how to, for example, call your best friend. Could you do it? Remember, you won't have the Internet or a cell phone. I mean, how did we live? Hmm, should I take an umbrella today? I guess have to check the...what? Check the what? How did we know? Anyway, sucks not having Internet.

I have been here long enough to notice that Germany is not like Egypt, at all, in any way, other than that humans reside in both places. I have been counting grains of sand since arriving here. So far I have seen three, all of which arrived with my boxes from Egypt. When they were discovered, a Hazmat team showed up and shipped them back to Egypt.

There is no garbage visible anywhere. The garbage receptacles are attractive and well organized. You have a different slot into which you must place different colors of glass for recycling. Never mind that once inside the slots, it is the same receptacle. You must place in item in the slot of the corresponding color. A rule for everything and everything by the rule.

The biggest driving hazard is that you will be hit by a biker. Whether you hit them or they hit you, the car is always at fault. Bikers own the road. All sidewalks are divided into the pedestrian side and the biker side. If you are silly enough to ambulate on the bike side, they will not swerve for you. One quick warning and then they will run you over and it will be your fault. 

Surf Camp

With apologies to Caleb, I kept missing him surf. They were far out and it was hard to identify them before it was too late. Maddie had the red wet suit, which facilitated the positive ID.

Beach Morning

Surf camp warm up

The Rental Car Issue

This has been the summer of rental cars, which we experienced thus:

1. Chevy Spark. It is sort of unfair to give this car-like vehicle a negative review because you get what you pay for and I was trying to be frugal. So I will focus on the positive: It was the best golf cart I've ever driven.
2. Chrysler 300. In this case I was not being frugal, so the car deserves all the negative sentiment that can possibly be ascribed to a car. This was the upgrade that wasn't, so I "downgraded" to the far superior Kia Soul. If you're going to create a media console user interface requiring Hammurabi's Code, the least you could do is give me an armrest for my elbow while I fiddle with the non-responsive touch screen. Alas, no armrest, on either side. What am I supposed to do, drive with my hands on the wheel?
3. Kia Soul. The highlight of the summer. I want to buy one. I called it the Harry Potter car because it is small on the outside and big on the inside. Loved it. And I didn't have to get a degree in deciphering craptastically designed media console user interfaces. It was just a radio and a reverse camera. Perfect.
4. Buick Enclave. Fine, I guess. But again, if I have to read the instructions to figure out a tech gadget, then that is a poorly designed tech gadget. Another super terrible user interface. Also ugly.
5. Toyota Rav4. Excites no passion but, man, super practical. Reverse cam yes! Traditional radio yes! Win, win.
6. GMC Acadia. See Buick Enclave. Luxurious in all the wrong places.

The take away: when I go shopping for a new car in a few weeks, my top priority will be to find one without a touch screen media console. Hate those. Seriously, what is the point? If I want that, I will just plug in my iPhone. I want a straight forward radio and a USB jack. The reverse cam is cool too. All the other junk is over-engineered junk. Did I say junk twice? Let me say it a third time: junk.

4th of July Highlights

My top two 4th of July moments, and then a chronology of the day (for the record).

1. The Classy 97 float at the parade was the most boring and useless float ever, until the dude standing on top of the truck yelled out, channelling Alice Cooper, "Soft rock rules. Oh yeah!" Nailed it.
2. Driving to the big fireworks display from the front yard display, Katie and I were talking in the front seat. Caleb interrupted to observe, "You know what grown ups are really good at? Having a conversation about the same thing for a long time. Kids change topics like every minute or so."

Turns out, Idaho Falls, ID is one of the best places to celebrate Independence Day (link). I agree. I started the day running the parade route in the Firecracker 5k. After years of running on a treadmill at sea level, I have gained an inflated sense of my speed. So far in two real (outdoors, no treadmill) 5k's I have not come near my treadmill pace.

After the race, the parade (special thanks to Krisy Wolle for letting us sit on her lawn!):

Then, gramma hosted a carnival in her backyard. Ring toss, sack races, tickets and prizes. The whole deal.

Manning the prize table

The pyrotechnics began around 3 pm with modified tank battles

And then moved to the front yard and street

Apologies to the clean up crew

Fireworks = mind blown

We topped it off this morning with the Color in Motion 5k in Rexburg

Hart Family Reunion 2014

Our first week back from Egypt was spent in South Carolina, still at sea level and still hot. So when our second week found us in Stanley, Idaho at 6,500 feet elevation with temperatures below freezing, we were not well acclimated. As per the norm for Hart family gatherings, the first night was filled with rain that escaped the forecasters' notice.

Camp activity highlights:

Biking

The first morning, I hit the bike trail with my bike-crazy brothers. I can out run them all I'm pretty sure, but I don't bike. And I don't do anything at this elevation. So about 4 miles into our 5 mile ascent to 8,000 feet, my thighs said, "We're done, thank you." Also, my butt still hurts from the bike seat. Why have they not yet cracked the code for comfortable bike seats? Maddie apparently was a model citizen on a family ride in which I did not participate because my boys were, for reasons I cannot discern, unwilling to partake.

Lip Sync Contest

Video was banned to encourage broad participation.

I serenaded Katie with a heart-felt "I'll Never Let You Go"

Maddie delivered the final note of "Let It Go" with flair.

Then we rocked out a family version of "Everything is Awesome."Note the boys' tee shirts.

The Lake

The cousins established a beach swimming pool building enterprise in which workers were given such titles as "hangover manager." It took me a while to understand that this referred to building what might be better referred to as an over hang. After a few promotions, one could aspire to become "Swimming Pool Lord."

At one point, Caleb became frustrated and declared, "Good bosses don't micromanage." Yes, the lessons of The Lego Movie.

Henry's Birthday

It's Darth Maul

The Campfire

Collectively, I think we can quote every line ever delivered by Will Ferrell in a movie.

Boss Caleb

While eating out at Texas Roadhouse Caleb said, "Look at the girls' table. Girls are so boring. They're just over there talking, talking talking. Look at me. I'm smashing peanuts on the table with my fist like a boss. Boys rule."

Also, some pics from running the Scenic River Classic in Idaho Falls:

A Taste of Charleston

Strange to say, I miss the chaotic traffic of Cairo. I stop at interminable red lights and think, In Cairo I could just drive around this mess. Traffic lights. Sigh.

I also discovered about myself that I have grown more fond of walkability than I had realized. Here in the Charleston suburb of Mt. Pleasant, nothing is walkable. Turns out, I miss being able to get most of what I need within walking distance. I am falling out of love with cars. No, I am not ready to go carless, but I am looking forward to biking in Germany.

Katie and I sleep at the Marriott Courtyard while the kids are sleeping at Papa J's. I drop in each morning around 8:30, get a dose of the always-on Fox News, and then we start the day. Water parks, boating, dolphins, arcade. Papa J introduced the kids to the wonder of dragging behind a boat in an inner tube.

Today, after three full days in the sun, the kids are zapped. Henry is asleep on my lap, Maddie and Caleb are asleep upstairs. I'm watching the World Cup. Traffic lights not withstanding, life is good in the USA.

And A Rock Feels No Pain

Maddie cried a good cry. The sobbing kind. Katie too.

Caleb was stoic, adding "I might see my friends again, so, not really goodbye."

Henry, as ever, played soccer.

For my part, quick emotionless goodbyes. There were a few folks I saw again after having already said goodbye. I pretended not to see them again. That's how islands role.

I cried once, right after Caleb passed his test for blue belt two nights ago (pictured below).