To Raise a Child

I was trying to guide Maddie through a goal-setting process for the new year. I figured I would find something easy; something on her level. I asked her if she wanted to paint. Not so much. Collect Barbies? Apparently that's for younger girls, not six-year-olds.

Finally she interrupts my torrent of suggestions: "Dad, I just want to collect money."

I assure you Mr. and Mrs. Retton were never as proud of Mary Lou as I was of Maddie at that moment. I have raised a capitalist! Are there happier words?

So I explained to her about bank accounts.

"You mean I give the bank money and they pay me for doing nothing?"

"Well, not nothing. They pay you to provide capital which they package together into big enough pieces to pursue profit- and value-generating projects with tangible social benefits such as building homes and starting businesses."

She had the slack-jawed look she gets just before falling asleep. "I mean, yeah, they pay you for doing nothing."

New Years 10/11

Christmas 2010

Must Be True Love

The kids have a tradition of saying "cheers" and touching sippy cups before drinking Nestle Qwik chocolate milk.

Today, however, Caleb refused the toast. "Now I only say cheers with Edaline," he explained.

"How do know you're in love," I asked.

"Dad," he said with a duh tone of voice, "because she's a girl and we talk a lot."

Buddy, I don't want to complicate this for you.

"That's it, Caleb. You got it. You're in love."

Caleb's Big Day

Once upon a time, I arrived home from work to a hero's welcome every day. Daddy! Daddy! Leaping. Bouncing. Running. Hugging.

This bucolic scene slowly gave way to me walking through the door to silence. "Hey, guys! I'm home." Cricket. Cricket. "I'm ho-ome!" Silence. "I'm home?"

Then, from the basement, just loud enough to hear over the "dum-be-dum-dum-be-dum" of Mario Kart: "Hi, dad."

Replaced by the Wii.

Tonight, however, the magic was back. Maddie and Caleb were in the front yard when I came around the corner from the bus stop."Daddy!" Screaming. Running.

Maddie ran into my arms. Caleb ran almost into my arms but stopped short. "Dad, today is the best day ever," he said. His face was radiant.

"Why, buddy?"

"Because I have my first love and it's Edaline."

Good work, little man.

Day After Christmas Update

The Wii picked up steam with the addition of Mario Cart and Light Saber duels. The tree has been dead for about four days now, so it's going down immediately. The carpet received gum, drinkable yogurt, and sparkling cranberry juice. Merry Christmas, carpet!

The Christmas Report

I picked out a book to give to Katie for Christmas. Upon opening, she said, "Oh, Tim, you'll enjoy reading this."

Well, there's always next year.

As for me, I made out like a bandit with a nostalgic Seattle Seahawks sweatshirt to replace the tattered one I've been wearing on weekends since 9th grade. Also, cold-weather jogging pants and shirt. Also, two very nice ties. Also, Boston Celtics pajamas. I couldn't be happier.

Santa remembered everything on the kids' lists, plus a few extras. I caused great offense when I told Maddie her FurReal Go Go Dog was fake. She held it close and ran to the bedroom saying, "It's OK. I know you're a real doggie." Maddie has also started a jewelry store with items created using Glow Bendaroos provided by Santa. Now that's a low-cost supply chain. Not exactly Just-In-Time, however. Additional Maddie highlights: Glow Doodle. Mosaic art kit. Fashion design kit. She has systematically played with all of them. I'd say the jewelry design business has occupied the most time.

Caleb also got everything on his list. His eyes are older than his interests, however. He's just not quite into assembling Legos himself. Maybe six months away. So we have 4 sets of Star Wars: Clone Wars Legos that are essentially for me. Which is awesome. The Bionicles, on the other hand are experiencing heavy usage. He is not strong enough to cock the Nerf dart gun, so again, a great gift for me. I have already shot Katie in the eye. Red Rider Bee Bee Gun anyone? Other highlights: Paper airplane design kit, violin.

Henry mostly received joint gifts with Caleb. Combo Nerf gun pack: not old enough. Basketball hoop: high interest. Nerf swords: heavy usage, broken furniture. Most played with: cars from Cars. Other highlights: Spiderman, Nerf football.

Coping

When Katie found out I had been assigned to Islamabad for a year (the Denver of the Asian Plateau?) she immediately purchased a 14-foot diameter spring-loaded black vinyl circle. The kids call it the jumpalator. Seeing its eight-foot-high steel-reinforced mesh encasement, I call it Celebrity Death Match.

By any name, so far it is a raging success. I put my money on Brittany to defeat Michael and retreat inside for newly child-free Saturdays. Katie, I salute you.

Final Stop: Charleston

Cross Country Stop 8: Atlanta

Caleb's Funny Questions

I took Caleb to see "Secretariat" over the weekend. After, Caleb was disappointed. "Dad, they never told the secret."

"What secret, Buddy?"

"The horse's secret. What was his secret?"

"Caleb, I'm not sure what you're talking about. There was no secret."

"The 'tariat,' Daddy. The secret tariat. What was the secret?"

Reminded me of his burning question after his first viewing of Star Wars: Dad, if light sabers can stop lasers, why can't they stop tractor beams?