Trip Cursed, Family Blessed

As some will have read previously, I lost my passport back in May. This set in motion a perfect storm of unusual circumstances that, if these had been the only complications with our move to Manila, would have provided ample material for tales of a woebegone endeavor.

The passport issue was resolved with significant assistance from the folks at the Special Issuance Agency and a 5 am to 9 pm same-day Boston to New York City train trip for me 10 days prior to scheduled departure to Manila.

Alas, this was not all. We found out, late, that we could not ship our cat on the same flight (because Hong Kong has insane quarantine rules for animals). So we had to ship Tiger separately at about three times the cost of having him as a "checked bag" on our flight.

I had understood, because Katie told me and it never occurred to me in a million years to question her on this matter, that a woman can travel pregnant any time before 32 weeks of pregnancy. At check in, three hours prior to departure, I mentioned that Katie is pregnant and asked if there was an upgrade available. No one inquired as to how far along she was and there was no suggestion that she might need formal doctor approval to travel.

So for the next three hours, time we could have used to obtain a doctor's note, we waited in ill-informed boredom to board the flight. We boarded. We took our seats. A few minutes before scheduled take off, Katie asked for an extra pillow, and pointed to her pregnant belly.

Instead of a pillow, the stewardess brought an airline official who asked how far along Katie was. Katie happily reported 28 weeks, thinking this resolved any concern. The next 15 minutes became an ugly time in our family history. I used words I regret. At one point I informed the airline official she would have to remove us from the plane in handcuffs. When she responded "that can be arranged" I realized I had been defeated.

I wanted us all to stay together, so I had us all deplane. Then there was intense discussion in the skyway. After a few more minutes, I decided to get me and the kids to Manila on time because they had school admissions interviews scheduled and it would be easier for one passenger to find an alternative flight than it would for five. I had thought the plane had in flight wifi and was willing to pay any price for it.

Back on the plane, still very angry, the kids were crying. We took off and I realized no in flight wifi. The next 16 hours with no way to know Katie's fate were incredibly stressful. Henry was great. "Dad, it's okay. I'll be okay without mom for a few days. Don't worry."

When we landed in Hong Kong, I had one thing on my mind: get off the plane fast, find wifi, find out how Katie was doing. I achieved that goal and found out that she was already in the air on another flight. I relaxed. I did my best to manage the kids' anxiety during the two-hour layover, and then we boarded the plane to Manila and I realized that, in my anxiety, I had left two carry-on bags on the previous plane from Boston, in Hong Kong.

The trip was cursed.

Meanwhile, an airport police officer had taken up Katie's cause in Boston and stayed by her side and argued her case through the entire ordeal. Cathay Pacific officials took excellent care of her, giving her lounge access, finding the soonest possible alternative flight, and blocking out an entire row for her on that flight. She was able to sleep almost the whole time, a much more comfortable flight than she would have had otherwise. She picked up our lost bags during her layover and was a mere 12 hours behind us.

Our housing is excellent. Beyond excellent really. We are blessed.

Now, if I could just shake the jet lag.

USA Summer, Boston Leg Update

As compared to Katie's debacle last year in which it took some 20 hours to fly from Boston to Charleston, CHS to BOS was happily uneventful this time. A thank you to Martha for greeting us at Logan Airport with blueberry muffins.

Boston has been a whirlwind of catching up with friends. A big thank you to James and Nikki for driving in from Schenectady to see us. Caleb, especially, enjoys visits from his Magic playing and Poke-walking Uncle James.

My summer enjoyment was thwarted when, on the first day of Disney World, I got word of complications with our Philippines visa application process. A perfect storm of mix ups and unusual circumstances led to us having only a few weeks to process a new passport (which usually takes a few weeks) and get Filipino visas (which can take up to a month). Happily, we then found a perfect storm of blessings and helpful employees at the State Department and the Philippines Consulate General of New York and all was fully resolved with a one-day train ride to the Big Apple.

This week, the kids are in camps: Maddie swimming, Henry soccer, Caleb all-around day camp. With departure to the Philippines only a few days away, anxiety is in the air.

Charleston Photo Update

Waiting for the fireworks 

Happy birthday, America!

Bad resolution pic of Caleb jumping in the foam pit as Henry looks on

A birthday cannoli for Papa J

In which Henry discovers that life jackets are also headrests

Reverse Culture Shock (God Bless America)

It is great to be back in the US. It has been two years away for me. A few things caught me off guard. For example, no one drives the speed limit here. True, there are parts of the German autobahn with no speed limit, but when there is a speed limit, everyone obeys it, perfectly. I hadn't realized how used to that I had become until everyone was flying by me on I-95.

Also, throwing all of my garbage into the same receptacle feels really weird. I am so used to organizing my garbage...and even cleaning certain types of garbage before throwing it away. That was weird to me at first, but it became a habit and it now feels weird to throw away a glass bottle of, say, jam without first rinsing it out.

Anyway, the kids quickly turned on the Disney Channel and immediately felt right at home. It helped that on the plane ride, the stewardess gave Caleb a can of Coke that said, "I'm proud to be an American." He loved it. Then, we arrived at Disney World. So much America.

Here are a few Disney pics, with more to come once we download all the official Photo Pass photos:

In which Kylo Ren became the first human to say "Silence!" to Katie with any effect.

I love it when they forget they are trying to be grown up

Last Day, But Still A Week To Go

They packed up all of our stuff today. It is odd to see all of one's stuff in boxes. You look at these nondescript boxes and simultaneously think, "That's it?" and "How do I have so much?" Also, seeing it all packed up makes one feel that it is over. But we don't fly out for five more days. It is like meeting an acquaintance at the super market, saying hello, saying goodbye, and then realizing you're walking down the same isle, but you already said goodbye. So that awkward walk down the grocery store isle is our next five days in Germany.

Packing up all of our things every few years has made me self-conscious about the amount of things I acquire. We acquire many, many things. Even when we try not to. Paper. When one moves, it becomes clear that the digital era has a long way yet to go. Holy smokes, the quantity of useless paper. And just when you think you've purged it all, the school sends home suitcases full of it with your kids of all the super important projects they've worked on all year. So I pluck out a few random items, shove them in a "scrapbook" my kids will have to organize when they are grown and their own kids have moved out, and then throw the rest away.

Living on the American compound has been a mixed bag. I haven't had anything like a German experience, forced as I was to live exclusively with Americans. While it was nice to not have to learn German, on account of learning German is hard, it was pretty embarrassing when I had to confess to Germans that I had lived here for 2 years and could still barely order at McDonalds, where they use all same product names.

I will miss our church community terribly. I cried like a baby on Sunday saying goodbye to our great friends at church. In addition to believing the doctrine, I love being a member of my church because we always have a community wherever we go around the world.

Among those to whom we said a sad goodbye is the angel Elaine Woodford. Henry loves her so.

Annual Totally Awesome Brand Post (Which You Will Think is Boring)

I like brands and branding. From Millward Brown's annual Top 100 brands list (released today), here are my family's interactions with the top brands.

1. Google (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Artificial Intelligence). I am getting to like Google more and more. Previously, I have used their services reluctantly. Now I use them enthusiastically. They have pulled way ahead of Apple in AI. I just uploaded all my photos to Google's service because it automatically makes fun little videos and adds flashing lights to Christmas tree photos (!). This blog is Google-powered. The new "Inbox" version of Gmail is just the best.

2. Apple. I still love Apple. For example, I anxiously await their semi-annual product events (theres one next Monday) with the same anticipation as the Super Bowl. Yes, you read that correctly. I only buy Apple hardware. I'm super bummed that I keep having to put off buying an Apple Watch because of trifling things like braces for my kids. But Apple seems to be losing some of its joyful simplicity. Apple Music is a mess. I'm a subscriber because I am giving Mr. Cook the benefit of the doubt and assuming he will fix it in a subsequent iteration. My patience will not last forever.

3. Microsoft. Microsoft is something I deal with only at work and without the slightest joy. Recent hardware product launches presented some intrigue, but I still feel like Microsoft is for people who want to solve a riddle while Apple is for people who want to use their computer. Really, Microsoft is Excel, Word, and Powerpoint, which are entirely serviceable. I contemplated a PC for the kids because they got it in their heads that PC's are better for gaming and because at some point they should become conversant in the Windows OS dialect.

5. Facebook. I'm a fan. I wonder where Facebook will go in the future, however. I'm not sure how much longer I will remain a fan. The scope of post types I find interesting gets narrower, not wider. But I really like the few kinds of posts that I still like. I love everyone's back-to-school pics of their kids. I love Christmas morning pics. And, of course, there are always cat videos. Which I guess means Facebook will always be popular. Mr. Zuckerberg should invest in cats.

6. Visa. It's on the list because I use it, but I don't know about Millward Brown's methodology here. To me, credit card back stops are a commodity. I do not choose a card because it is Visa or MasterCard. I choose it because of its travel affinity affiliation (e.g. Marriott points or United miles).

7. Amazon. Amazon is the friend of expatriates buying American goods. But I am not passionate about Amazon. I no longer use the Kindle. Amazon Video is useless.

9. McDonalds. I am trying to put together a photo album for Henry's graduation or wedding or something like that of him eating at McDonalds all around the world. I used to sort of apologize for liking McDonalds. I'm just going to own it. McDonalds is a familiar place for our family to feel at home no matter where we are around the world. So I like it.

13. Coca Cola. Katie has abandoned Coke for Dr. Pepper. I still crack one open now and then. But our love affair seems to have ended. Sorry Coke.

19. Disney. We are a Disney family. We literally live at Disney World. A Disney World timeshare is the only property we own, so we have to use it for our address for state income tax purposes. Madeline still says she wants to be a Disney executive when she grows up. We buy almost all Disney (Marvel and Star Wars included) movies the day they are released on iTunes. And the House of Mouse has been on a killer winning streak of late. So many good movies. The parks have gotten even better.

24. Nike. Nike and I had a falling out this year. They changed my favorite line of running shoe, the Vomero, and the "improved" version no longer fits my foot correctly. Then I went on an expensive shoe experimentation phase trying almost everything Nike had to offer. Out of brand loyalty, I gave them many chances, but nothing works. Also, Nike DriFit gear is among the not so great moisture wicking alternatives available.

28. Toyota. I love my Highlander. And that's all I have to say about that.

54. Colgate. I have a completely irrational loyalty to Colgate toothpaste.

61. Gillette. They are like Nike: I have loved them but they keep making "improvements" that make things worse. The Mach 3 Turbo is a great razor. The Fusion is a more expensive not better razor.

65. PayPal. I cancelled my account a few weeks ago.

85. LinkedIn. I tested the job market a little earlier this year and started to see the utility of LinkedIn. But it is not something I use often.

95. Bank of America. In an unexpected twist, I have no reason to dislike Bank of America this year. They retained my business previously only because of high switching costs. B of A cannot come anywhere near USAA's customer service, but my money is safe and online payments are easy. So there you go.

Other brands I like or use a lot:

• Moleskine. I still can't get all my thoughts into a computer with the same fluidity that I can a piece of paper. So I love having my Moleskine notebook handy at all times for jotting a quick note, making a list (which is sort of like a nervous twitch for me), or drawing a diagram.
• Oakley. Best eyewear. Best customer service.
• Marriott. As my older brother said, they're like the McDonalds of hotels.

Tech Fatigue

I can't decide if I've reached peak tech. Do I have too much or not enough artificial intelligence (AI) in my life? I certainly don't have the correct amount. But I can't decide whether the solution is to scale back or double down. Truth is, AI is the inevitable future my kids will inhabit and I want them to be ahead of, or at least keeping pace with, the curve. However, while it is tempting to accept that constant change is the new normal, so just accept it, AI, like the Sabbath Day, was made for man, not the other way around. I want my AI to give me more time for human interactions. What I really want is for it to clean my house. Sigh.

I bought the kids a Wii U yesterday. It was my early Father's Day gift to myself on their behalf. They'd been asking for it and we had some some extra cash, so why not? Then I remembered why not when I had to spend hours setting up user accounts for each kid and making endless decisions about the nature of online interaction each user would be allowed. I miss the Nintendo 64. I just want to plug in a game and play. I hate online interactions. Clearly I am not the target market for purveyors of gaming consoles because the last thing I want is interactive online play, which is the one thing they all force you to accept. And in case you're thinking there is irony here, no, I do not consider online gaming a "human" interaction.

So this put my mind in a bad place regarding tech. Then I turned on my iMac and was informed that it had to restart to install an update that was not optional. It took 30 minutes. During those 30 minutes I thought about what I was going to do on the computer: type in my journal, which I keep in Evernote, and plan my week, which I do in Google Calendar. By the time the update had loaded, it was clear I could have already completed both tasks with a pen and notebook, which cost somewhat less than the $1,500 I spent on the computer and will soon have to spend again, should I choose to continue digitizing such activities.

Then the new update told me I had to make some new decisions about preferences in Apple Music. And on and on. Cross platform availability, searchable notes, The Doobie Brothers any time I want. These are all great, but am I getting dumber? I barely remember how to write in cursive. I can barely drive without a Garmin. I'm begging my kids to play video games instead of watching YouTube because at least they have to use their brain. Seriously. Read that sentence twice, and then weep.

I suppose the bottom line is that I have take control of this. We have to get strategic about our tech usage. We need to evaluate how technology can enhance our goals (instead of becoming our goals)  and contribute to (rather than distract from) the vision Katie and I have for our family. I need to apply a lot more of my old fashioned intelligence before acquiring or implementing any more of the artificial variety.

Photo Updates

Henry taught his class about sea turtles

Caleb and Katie delivered school supplies to a refugee camp

Maddie celebrated turning 12

Wear It Out

I have been contemplating the Depression Era refrain: Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. Today, this notion is repurposed as "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle." I support both notions but note that the disposable lifestyle can be quite intoxicating.

Here, the children can show the way. For example, see this pic of the kids depositing funds they raised for refugees by asking door-to-door for contributions of lose change.

We are working on small things like remembering to turn off the power converters at night and riding bikes to church instead of driving. And I'm trying to focus on buying fewer items, but of higher quality.

Really, we have very few needs at this point. Besides groceries and some clothes, we could probably go a year or more without making a single purchase.

It is unfortunate that these ideas have gotten wrapped with political implications. Wise stewardship is a spiritual principle that brings peace to the individual and strength to the community, irrespective of discussions about climate change.

The Skinned Knee

Early in our marriage, Katie and I read the book "The Blessing of A Skinned Knee."  Like many such books, it takes 300 pages to summarize the idea that letting your kids get hurt is okay. So now you don't have to read the book. You're welcome.

In practice, we have at times been caught up in the cultural moment of so-called helicopter parenting. How is it that at age 10, I rode my BMX bike for miles and miles all over town without telling my parents where I was going and without a cell phone. Imagine it!

Even as we have attempted to deliberately relax, or at least hover at a higher altitude, our chosen lifestyle is not conducive to free range parenting. One simply cannot let their children run around Cairo. And then, in very safe Frankfurt, we told the kids they could ride their bikes around the block without us and they were very confused, like when you try to imagine what is on the other side of the end of the universe.

Next, we're off to Manila, another high rise apartment building. I'm sure it will be great, but certainly no riding of BMX bikes all around town.

I used to play hide and seek in the summer time until forever p.m. with the entire neighborhood. And speaking of skinned knees, there was this one spot of the curb that new comers always, I mean always, tripped over the first time they played and were running for base. And they would skin their knee and they would cry. And parents wouldn't even come outside. Crazy, right? And then they would stop crying and we would keep playing. It was bonkers. Like we didn't even need grown ups.

Anyway, now I have to figure out how to let my kids skin their knees in Manila. How do I let them have the social equivalent of neighborhood hide and seek in a high rise apartment and the era of playdates? Online Minecraft?

On Mother's Day (And It's a Boy)

I was in an airplane for most of Mother's Day. I left the house about 8 am to catch a 10 am flight, Frankfurt to DC. So I didn't have time to do much other than say, "Happy Mother's Day," before I left and by the time I was settled in at the hotel on the other end, Katie was asleep.

Please indulge me in some potentially uncomfortable honesty: Mother's Day is hard for me. While I have often owned Valentine's, anniversaries, and birthdays, I have historically not been that great about Mother's Day. Valentine's Day is easy because almost any effort exceeds expectations, so there is opportunity with limited risk. The anniversary carries expectation, but the terms of the deal are unambiguous. I deliver a gift cleverly related to some ancient tradition about linens, crystal, semi-precious stones, and so forth. The birthday is similarly straight forward. Throw a party. Buy a gift. It's easy.

But Mother's Day. Oh, Mother's Day. Part of my problem is that I have, in the past, disagreed with the premise of the day. I figured, if I haven't been showing her my gratitude the rest of the year, this one day isn't going to make it better; on the other hand, if I have been showing her my gratitude, why does she even need this day? Men, such thinking is a perilous trap.

My plan next year is to send Katie away for the weekend so we can wish her happy Mother's Day via Skype, and then she can watch Jane Austen movies and drink Diet Coke.

Meanwhile, we found out about 12 hours ago that number 4 is a boy. So awesome.

Thus, turning serious, Katie will again give of her body to deliver miraculous life into this world. She will be glorious mother. My perception of it is different this time. Somehow, with the first three, I was not awestruck. This time, I cannot help but perceive her as a goddess, a mighty creator. She deserves a golden scepter and a crown of diamonds. I can provide a minivan and 1,800 square feet.

I am humbled and inspired. Here I am married to this regal creator of life, this bringer of jollity. So how can I insult her by being other than noble myself? Which means I have work to do.