Annual Totally Awesome Brand Post (That Apparently People Like Even Though I Never Think They Will)

From the recently published Top 100 Brands 2015, here are those with which we (I, Katie, the kids, the family) have deliberate, frequent, and/or repeated interaction. I was once asked in a job interview to name a movie that described my career. In honor of that super useless interview question, I will attempt to describe our relationship with each brand using a movie or TV show.

So it goes: rank. Brand; movie and commentary

1. Apple; The Jetsons. To me, Apple represents the future. When I think of Apple, I think of the future. I've totally fallen for the branding. In Tim's mind, Apple = an exciting new day.
2. Google; Terminator, because, you know, Skynet. Seriously, why did Google purchase a military robotics company? Don't be evil. Yeah, right. And yet here I am using their platform for my blog. Gmail. Google Drive. Chrome. Search. I can't escape.
3. Microsoft; A Beautiful Mind. Because you feel like you're trying to solve a conspiracy theory that doesn't even exist when you try to set up their super-crap products. Also the barf scene in Stand by Me because: Barf!
5. Visa; Married With Children. It's really not that funny, or even noteworthy in any way, and yet it's everywhere. And that family was surely swimming in consumer debt.
8. Coca Cola; It's A Wonderful Life. Because America.
9. McDonalds; Around the World in 80 Days. I really don't love the food, but Micky D's has become an important part of our world travels. Reliable and ubiquitous. I've started taking pictures so at Henry's wedding we can have a slide show of McDonalds around the world.
12. Facebook; Hiding Out. It's a way to pretend we're in high school again.
14. Amazon; Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Madeline asked for a Kindle Fire. I was incredulous. You can get a real product, like an iPad Mini, I explained. But all her friends have the Fire and it has fun games, she said. I'm still trying to process the nonsense of that response. Why does Amazon believe it can steal my child? On the other hand, Amazon Prime is pure gold for overseas shipping.
19. Disney; Fantasia. Magic.
23. Vodaphone; I don't even know. It's not even worth coming up with anything. We stumbled upon them as our cellular provider overseas. Next.
28. Nike; The Departed. Don't get me wrong, I love all my Nike gear, but if they paid bribes to FIFA as alleged, I don't think I can remain loyal. Nike isn't the Patriots, after all. My loyalty has limits (except when it comes to the Patriots).
30. Toyota; Casablanca. It never gets old.
52. Gillette; Mad Max. Forget Fury Road. The original. It's a man thing. Also, do you remember that weird 80's helicopter show Airwolf? That scene where he flips out with rage and pumps a million rounds of ammo into every part of existence. All the while he had a freshly shaved face. If I'm going to go nuts with a super high-tech helicopter, I'm definitely pulling out my Gillette Fusion first. (Ernest Borgnine in a jumpsuit. What a crazy show.)
57. Colgate; Groundhog Day on account of the repetition.
85. LinkedIn; Birdman. Smart people like it, but I've seen it, and I have no idea what to make of it.
89. Chase; Pitch Perfect. Really just that one brief part where the background characters remind us they've been there the whole time and we realize, oh yeah, I totally forgot about them.
92. Twitter; Koyaanisqatsi. Yes, I stumped you with that one. I had to spend several hours of my undergraduate life trying to comprehend this bit of experimental filming. I'm trying to be a good student of Twitter. I'm experimenting with it. It really does seem like there could be something worthwhile there. But often it's just noise.
95. Bank of America; The Abyss. That's my nickname for their customer service. A necessary evil tolerated only because switching costs are very high.

And Caleb's Greek Photos

This is at the international fair and I added it just because Caleb looks cool

Henry had to dress up like something...Oliver Twist? I don't even remember

And here's the toga

Feeling good after his performance and delivering a gift to Nana

Martha Went to France and We All Got High at Maddie's Birthday

All the girls got manicures in our loft area that we set up as a temporary salon for Maddie's birthday party. What we didn't take into account was that our roof is being redone and the windows replaced. We are currently in a state of having no windows upstairs, only sealed plastic coverings, that cannot be opened, while 16 girls have their nails done.

So we all got high.

Martha in Germany and Other Updates

We are meddlesome parents. In my thoughtful moments, I realize I just need to back off and let them figure stuff out, but then I meddle. Caleb had a big presentation coming up about Theseus and the minotaur. He assured us he had it down. Yet we forced him to read the lines. We read the lines to him. We had him repeat them to us. He was not pleased this. "I've got this, sheez."

But then when asked to repeat the lines, he only kind of did it. So we worried but ultimately backed off.

Then he delivered. Oh, did he deliver. He didn't want to repeat the lines, because he had something better in his head. He delivered a seven-minute, one-man play from memory, with asides about how Theseus loved his ninja moves. It was creative and great. And hopefully I learned my lesson. We'll see about that.

Madeline presented her report on whether homework really helps. It does, she regretfully informed her listeners.

And Martha's adventures:

Wurtzburg Cathedral

The Residenz in Wurtzburg

Silly time in Rothenburg ob der Tauber

More Rothenburg

And more Rothenburg

Spain Pics (Final)

This is me acting like an idiot in 1996.

And same location in 2015.

Why? 'Cuz goblins.

Caleb got a new suit from Zara, and felt like a spy.

McDs in foreign lands. It's like a pilgrimage for us.

Spain Pics (Alhambra and Gibraltar)

Spain Pics Part 1 (Semana Santa and Malaga)

Caleb and I had a good view of one of the smaller afternoon processions.

Maddie at the Malaga Alcazaba

Caleb and Jimmie in front of the Alcazaba

Maddie and Henry playing on the cathedral grounds

Malaga cathedral

The photo doesn't do justice to a large, impressive procession.

Churros and chocolate with the Neels

Maddie and Jessie

19 Years Later

I started my church mission in Spain 19 years ago. We just concluded a ten-day spring break tour of where I served, including some places I did not get to see as a missionary (Gibraltar and Alhambra). A few take-aways (photos are coming soon):

Memory creates weird psychological problems. For example, despite deliberate effort, I could not remove my hope of seeing people I knew almost 20 years ago as they were 20 years ago. That they had aged was unbelievably shocking to me. Also, memories of streets and places had been mashed up like some Facebook celebrity couples meme. I was surprised to learn (by getting lost) that things that I remembered as one place are really in different parts of the city.

Spain meant more to me than I meant to Spain. I sort of already knew this but had never spent much time with the idea. There were a few church members in Malaga who invited me to dinner at their home every week for months. I love these people. They do not know who I am. One person kind of recognized my face but mostly I was just an American tourist until I insisted I had served with them. They fed the missionaries, not a missionary. I temporarily played the role of a character they love dearly. Then I passed the role on to another. They sincerely love the characters, but hardly know the actors.

Spain felt like home. I was never in one location longer than seven months, yet I was surprised at the deep familiarity I felt. It felt as much like home as when I return to Idaho Falls. I love Spain.

Having a sense of mission is a great feeling. However, Spain is not my mission anymore. I spoke with the current missionaries. Great young people. I hugged them all and told them I loved them. They were confused, since I was so excited to see them that the hugging and loving took place before any kind of introduction. Being with them for a few moments brought back the old missionary zeal. I wanted to put on the name tag again and go out teaching. But it's not my mission anymore. They have the keys. I thanked them for carrying on the work and returned to my mission: with my family in Frankfurt.

I'm Not Your Friend

I will skip details to preserve a bit of privacy for my kids and just say that several weeks ago, one of them made me really mad. Like, really mad. And it occurred to me that the "fun parent" reputation I earned after Pakistan came at too high a price (often paid by Katie). It was time for rebranding.

I had to lock someone in a bedroom for about 30 minutes every night for the next few days, and they were not excited about the new Saturday morning chore routine when it was presented. But all has worked out surprisingly well so far. After the first Saturday of intense chore-doing a few weeks ago, the kids were rewarded with a dollar bill and a trip to the neighborhood store to buy candy or soda. Maddie came home and declared it the best Coke she'd after tasted. I asked why. "Because I earned it," she said.

A bit of parental success. Now, to keep the momentum.

Hart Family March Madness Smack Down

Katie won the inaugural episode last year and got her name on the trophy. Yes, I bought a trophy with space to engrave winner's names for the next 15 years. It appears that, fueled by her complete ignorance of college basketball, she might win again this year. Sigh. Really, who picked Georgia State besides her? Well, Henry did, but I think they're the only two in the world. Here's the Hart Family bracket summary after one day:

We all did terrible picking the play-in games. I did the best with two: Hampton and Robert Morris. But we only count those games as tie-breakers.

Madeline

12 picks right

Big Win: UNC (predicted Elite 8 barely survived Harvard)

Big Loss: Iowa State (predicted Elite 8)

Caleb

11 picks right

Big Win: Notre Dame (his predicted champion looked vulnerable, so he was glad they stuck around)

Big Loss: Baylor (predicted Final Four)

Henry

10 picks right

Big Win: Georgia State and UCLA (how many people got both of those right?)

Big Loss: none, no predicted Sweet 16 teams eliminated

Katie

10 picks right

Big Win: Georgia State

Big Loss: SMU (Sweet 16)

Tim (last as usual)

10 picks right

Big Win: nothing noteworthy

Big Loss: Baylor (Sweet 16)

A Year of Caleb

Happy 9th buddy.