My Parents in Germany, Part II, Week 2 and Other Updates

Castles! And more castles yet to come next week.

Tim vs The Grill. So, I didn't buy a grill...yet. I was in the check out line, with the grill. Then I thought, next week I might find out that they are moving us to Manila, where we will live in a high rise apartment building, where there will be no grilling. I'm going to wait a week. Alas, still no news on whether we're staying or going. And Katie teasing me all the while.

Madeline vs Her Mother. Maddie told Katie about her "date" for the upcoming Halloween dance, so perhaps this conflict is in detente.

My Parents Came to Germany (Again!)

They came while the kids are in school this time, so mostly they've been helping with chores, which I'm sure is why they came. They got to see Maddie's first game as a Frankfurt Warrior.

And we went to Rudesheim

Their first sunny (mostly) day in Germany

And then to Burg Eltz ("So it's castle, but what else?" was the joke I attempted seven or eight times. No laughs.)

A Few Storylines

Tim vs The Grill. How we spend our summers in this overseas, frequently moving lifestyle is a point of grave debate and the most ernest consideration. For one thing, it is getting rather expensive to house a family of five in short-term rental quarters for two months.

So I presented this awesome idea of how we could buy fixer-uppers, spend the summer fixing them up and then sell them the next summer (or after a few summers as dictated by transaction cost, blah, blah, blah). To which Katie responded, "You can't even grill a steak."

I am purchasing a grill. Will Tim learn to grill a steak and thus earn his wife's confidence in fixing up old houses (because they are totally related)? Or will he succumb to his wife's prejudice that he cannot perform traditional male roles? Stay tuned.

Madeline vs Her Mother. 

"Mom, what did I do?"

"What do you think you did?"

"I don't know. I was just sitting on the couch."

"Maddie, I'm tired of being yelled at."

"I just wanted some food."

"The kitchen is full of food. You're eleven years old. You need to learn to get your own food."

"Do you hate me?"

Stay tuned.

Caleb's Tae Kwon Do Quest. Caleb achieved his blue belt in Cairo. In Germany, he discovered that the standards were different (more strict). He likely would not have qualified for the belt here without more precise movements. His confidence was shaken and he felt to retreat. To his credit, he is back on the mat and committed to advancing to blue-with-red. Stay tuned.

May I Recommend Fasting and Meditation

I follow the Mormon practice of a once-monthly 24-hour period of abstaining from food and drink. I fast on the first Sunday of every month.

This practice is accompanied by a charitable contribution equal at least to the value of the forgone food but often more when my circumstances permit. I also meditate (pray) on particularly vexing life decisions or problems during this time.

To the devout, agnostic, and atheist I commend this practice with full confidence in positive results. The fast steels the will and purifies the body. The meditation, especially with a mind freed from sugary influence, brings clarity and direction. The charity provides a sustaining connection to community.

I am so thankful to my church for introducing me to this practice and for providing regular encouragement to continue.

German Risk Tolerance and The Enduring Power of Frozen

I will never accept German insistence on my going inside to pay for gas as other than backwards. Then, there are many cultural practices that are neither better nor worse, just eternally "other." For example, I will never get used to nudity in public parks. On the other hand, many German norms are unambiguously superior.

Helicopter parenting has not yet arrived in Germany. Children as young as age six ride their bikes all about town with no parent in sight. Free range parenting. In general, German risk tolerance regarding their children is very high. Playgrounds have climbing apparatus but no safety nets or even padding on which to fall. If you fall, you get hurt, which quickly teaches one not to fall.

We went to an amusement park yesterday. Very few park employees. When the first child in line gets in the seat, she fastens her belt and then signals that she is ready. Then the next child in line pushes the button to send the seat flying into the air. The kids handle the logistics themselves, and, get this, it totally works. I love this aspect of German culture.

Separately, the boys were fighting on and on after the park trying to select a movie to watch. I grew weary of their whining and just turned on Frozen without telling them or even asking their opinion. After a minute, they realized what it was, complained much about how they were so tired of it and how "Frozen is so old" and "is for girls." Then they watched the entire movie, grinning, giggling, and singing along to the whole thing.

I thought so.

USA Summer

Katie and the kids had a great (if unplanned) summer in the U.S. Photo overload below:

Caleb declared James his coolest uncle. Not that it's a competition.

Where the Harts of Boston began

The Least Busy You'll Ever Be

I attended a leadership conference while an undergraduate student at BYU. Henry B. Eyring was the speaker. He spent a lot of time speaking humorously about how busy he and his wife had been when they were students. He went on and on about the impossible demands on a student's time; the financial hardships of student living. There was no way one could do it all. He was clearly building to a crescendo of offering some kind of relief about how it would all be worth it, or it will be over soon; it gets better.

I will never forget his outrageous conclusion. I won't use quotes, since I don't recall if this is a quote, or just the way I remember it all these years later. He concluded, in effect, with: Well, it's just going to get worse, so you'd better get used to it now. This is the least busy you'll ever be and the financial concerns grow as fast as your income.

Well, he knew what he was talking about.

I have a work mate with one child, 2 years old, and I enjoy when he complains about how expensive it is having a kid. How quaint. I have one word for him: braces. Toddlers are a bargain. Toddlers can be entertained with cat toys.

The Adventures of Solo Lobo

I am quite accustomed to being alone on the road. I am not used to being alone at home. It is not remotely similar. On the road I have daily housekeeping, lounge access, laundry service, free buffet breakfast, and so on.

Well, you already read how the laundry service is going here. And the adventure continued this morning. I ran out of detergent. Two store options: A) Penny is a five minute walk with fewer options, B) Rewe is a 10 minute walk with all imaginable options. I just just need one item and I'm planning a busy day, so I go to Penny.

None of the detergent options ring a bell. Dang it. Well, I'll just buy anything. Only, I recall that our washer requires detergents with a little energy saver logo on the packaging. Can't find any such logo. Off to the Rewe. What? None of these detergents have the logo either. Back home to inspect the old package. It doesn't have the logo either, and was available at Penny. What is happening? Then, another recollection: you only need the logo if you're buying American brand detergent. Ugh.

Otherwise, I am very much enjoying that when I clean the house, it stays clean. Take that upgrade whenever it's offered. Super handy.

Also, the three week fixing of the roof and replacing of the windows is now in its eighth week. Remember that movie The Money Pit. Yeah.

Overlooked Reasons USA is the Best

America! I love her. Why? I'm glad you asked.

Toilet seats. The toilet seat in the restroom down the hall from my office in Islamabad was found broken in half about once a month and had to be replaced. First of all, that bathroom was the most disgusting non-out-house bathroom I've used. But, whatever. What can one be doing with a toilet seat that causes it to break monthly?

But then I encountered frequently breaking toilet seats in Cairo. And then broken toilet seats at our AirBNB apartments in Rome and Paris and our hotel room in Austria. One place I've never once encountered a broken toilet seat: USA. America, where we give a crap about toilet seats!

Washer/dryer capacity. Doing laundry is just not that great. Don't get me wrong, it beats wash boards, but it's laundry. So you stuff in all your whites. One hour later you switch those to the dryer and stuff in all your colors. One hour later you switch those to the dryer and maybe you have a specialty load left over. The whole thing is done in three or four hours perhaps twice a week depending upon size of family.

Now imagine that each load takes 2.5 hours and that you have to do three loads of whites and three loads of colors because the washer has a capacity of roughly 2 cups, which makes it handy for measuring flour but kind of sad for doing laundry. Ugh. I really don't understand how the natives do it, especially since they absolutely love sweating. It is seriously their favorite thing. 80 degrees outside? Perfect, wear a sweater. It's like they're all trying to make weight for a wrestling meet.

Often they don't even have dryers. Just clothes lines. Okay, way better for the environment. I'm cool with that. I respect that. It's just, as a logistical matter, I don't understand. We would need 874 yards of clothes lines. Maybe they just buy one shirt and one pair of pants at a time and go naked for the 5 hours it is being washed, which would explain why Germans love being nude in public.

Katie usually does the laundry, so this problem was on my radar, but not a lived experience. Well, Katie is gone. So I spent the entire day for the last two days doing laundry, and that's with no one around dirtying more items as I go. I have new found respect for Katie's ability to ever achieve anything other than laundry. Also, America! Where you don't have to spend your entire life, sweating and naked, squatting over a broken toilet seat while you wait for the laundry.

Bum-adook is Seven

First, a bit of context: I generally dislike horror movies. However, I really like watching the trailers to movies. So I know the general plots of most horror movie released in the last four years. One in particular, The Babadook, caught my attention for its originality and positive reviews from respected reviewers. Mind you, I haven't seen it, and probably won't, but the title, the name of a the movie's boogie-man, is catchy, right?

So catchy, in fact, that when Katie and I decided to scare the kids one night, we pretended to be the Babadook. The scaring was too effective, Maddie and Caleb were terrified, and I felt bad. Alas, I am not that mature, so I recently felt the itch again to do some scaring, so I turned into the Babadook for Henry (he had been already asleep when we previously terrorized M and C).

Henry the Intrepid found an effective response, however, and quickly fought off the Babadook by inventing his own monster, which he called the Bum-adook. The Bum-adook, I quickly discovered, scares away would-be Babadooks by showing its naked bum.

Anyway, Bum-adook turned 7 on Saturday. Photographic evidence is included below (along with a few other family highlights and updates).

Party at the Haligali (basically the German Chuck E. Cheese)

And then the at-home version of the party, later that day

Before

After

Last day of school

More Swift Than Anticipated

She's growing up. Shown here on her trip, with Katie, to Cologne for a Taylor Swift concert.